Zack & Wiki 
Even masterful titles can be burdened with a dud ad campaign. Case in point: this attempt to show how family-friendly Zack & Wiki can be. The children look bored out of their skulls, Mum seems upset by it all and Dad has to keep grabbing the remote to show them how it’s done. They all like it when Zack gets decked in, however. Make of that what you will.

Sega Big Bass Fishing (Japan)
The bizarre Western advert has nothing on the Japanese version. Trendy models are perfectly sane compared to a raving lunatic locked in an office with a couple of posters stuck to the wall… We’ve seen more glamorous production values in Osama Bin Laden’s cave-based vids – and oddly enough, he sold Big Bass Fishing a lot better, too.

My Sims
Very professionally done – rating high on the ol’ Nintendo-ad-o-meter – but for a terrible mismatching of player and onscreen action. We see grandad building a house for grandkid, fair enough, but why on earth are two late-teen boys sitting in a darkened room collecting Sim-apples while two civilised ladies dig up a MySims graveyard? Goes to show the game’s many things to many people.

Ghost Squad
Another ‘special’ effort from Sega. This time starring tw… wait a second! That’s the same two bods from the Big Bass Fishing ad. And we were sure they’d never work in this town again. Ever! Clearly willing to put their faces to anything, the once-fishers/Mounties turn their skills to cowboys, ninjas and pandas. That’s some versatile acting, right there.

Zenkoku Dekotora Matsuri
It’s the question that’s troubled marketing minds ever since the advent of advertising: how to sell truck-painting to the masses? When no amount of giggling twenty-somethings pretending to mop giant dragon friezes will do the job, it’s time to bring in the professionals. Professional truck crooner Riki, that is. Just wait for them hips to get gyrating. Brr.

Nodame Cantible
Wii orchestra for the Wii’s first orchestra sim, very classy. Playing an unheard symphony is exactly the kind of thing Wii ads should aspire to. Until, that is, the camera pans out to reveal the whole thing being led by a giant bear wearing serial killer gloves. Come on, how can we take that seriously?

Wild Earth: African Safari
Yes, it’s the African safari game so real you’ll believe your television is a savannah portal just waiting to spill all manner of face-eating beasts into your living room. SQUEAL at low-res ostrich textures! SCREAM as a lion seemingly made of cereal boxes slides towards the screen! WITHER as your pals at school watch a trailer of you pretending to be a toad…

Jul 22, 2008