Gaming's most repellent anti-babes

Birdo - Super Mario Bros. 2 onwards

Look, we had to include at least one tranny. And yes, contrary to popular belief, Birdo is a guy. But while a pink, egg blowing, transvestite dinosaur with a mouth like a burst fire hose is terrifying enough, even more soul-troubling is the acid nightmare, S&M Birdo cosplay that turned up online a while ago. We've seen it, so you have to share in our pain. And what makes you so sure there's a girl inside that thing?

The Nurses - Silent Hill series

With a body/face combination such as that, the physical makeup of Silent Hill's nurses is the equivalent of topping a cupcake with rabbit shit instead of a cherry. Why, Konami you sick bastards? Why!?

Lady Zombies - Left 4 Dead

Is it really necrophilia if she’s been reanimated? Wouldn’t it technically be okay as long as she was actually moving around? And why the hell are we trying to justify this?

Lady Gnomes, World Of Warcraft

It's impossible for us to talk about this one without putting the image of midget porn in your minds. So we won't.

Ripped Metal Chest Girl - Too Human

Fashion tips for the modern cybernetic girl, #1: A plunging neck line with a chest like a smashed motherboard is a major faux pas.

Natalya Fyodorovna Simonova - Goldeneye 007

We know that the Bond franchise needs more strong female characters, but giving Natalya the shoulders of a bricklayer is pushing the feminist crusade a tad too far.

Nadini - Age Of Conan

Huge rack, but you know that she's tripping over them without her bra of wrought iron and cement. Ever wish you'd met someone 60 years earlier? No, us neither.

Raven - Xbox tech demo

Two parts Lt. Vasquez, one part Grace Jones, one part Kaz Hirai.

Ring Pop - GTA IV

An eldritch construct of skankery and sickness, held together with congealed nicotine and varnished with a heavy veneer of desperation. And heroin.


  • ElectricButterfly - July 31, 2010 8:12 p.m.

    Harsh. But um...I guess I would take offense to the "fatties" section. Bawwing. That's lame though. You forgot Quina. (even though that whole sex thing is hard to truly nail down...) Sorry but Lucy is kinda hot. Buttamilk isn't that bad, either. I guess it's all in what you prefer. I happen to like Sheeva, too. Fable hooker, not so much. Eh.
  • kaittybee - February 26, 2010 4:30 p.m.

    jesus christ, this article is disturbing... i love it!
  • S1ightlyParano1d - November 18, 2008 10:55 p.m.

    O RLY?
  • marty20000 - September 29, 2008 9:42 p.m.

    Lol BTW... Birdo is a guy :P

Showing 1-4 of 4 comments

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