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Gaming's most important farty butts

Sites like ours thrive off listing the most important details in all of gaming culture. Like a lot, I mean. Though, as professionals, we can occasionally get just as discouraged as any reader over another site’s glaring omission. Take for example when we took in Edge Online’s 50 Greatest Gaming Innovations piece from last year. Stealth, cutscenes, bloom lighting - fine... but where are the farts, dammit?! The oversight of one of gaming’s greatest innovations is no laughing matter, and our video below, compiling a lifetime of flatulent dignity will prove us right!


Above: The most mature video you’ll ever see!

In what will doubtlessly become GamesRadar’s crowning achievement, we’ve listed our very favoritest gaming Farty Butts. And in our never-ending pursuit of “true journalism,” we’ve also included scattered instances of Poopy Shitz, as well. Anyone who’s eaten at a Taco Bell knows full well that the line between gas and solid can be fragile, dingleberry thin, even.

Everybody’s talked about it, but no one’s ever done it... Behold: The Farticle! Pulitzer, your ass is ours!

Wario

Aromatic Attribute: Offensive and defensive capabilities

 

Wario may’ve started his life as a serious and formidable opponent to Mario, but he’s slowly degenerated into full-blown fatbodied foil. Or to be more precise: a creature of anal impulse. In his last few appearances, Wario has been defined by his inability to properly digest food. In Mario Strikers Charged he ripped disorienting butt scuds, and he opened Smash Bros. Brawl with an apocalyptic air biscuit. Gamers have truly been blessed.

 



Beavis and Butthead (Genesis)

Aromatic Attribute: A moist nimbus cloud of asphalt grey

Keyser Soze wisely stated that to be in power all you needed was “the will to do what the other guy wouldn’t.” So, while our colleagues continue to point fingers at the first home version of Mortal Kombat and its bloody contribution to the SNES/Genesis console wars, we thought it was high time to tackle an issue of far greater importance. Case in point: Beavis and Butthead, the crudest thing to hit the early '90s, deserved their own game, surely. Unfortunately, the Nintendo nunnery figured MTV’s degenerate duo didn’t deserve the ability to cut gassers. They were wrong then and they were wrong now.

 

The Genesis had no such scruples. Sure both versions are forgettable turd castles of timely licensing, but at least the Genesis included flatulence right from the opening screen. In fact, those Sega developers designated windbreaking as Butthead’s primary mode of attack, and the world was all the better for it.


Boogerman

 

Aromatic Attribute: Spelled out for the hearing impaired!

 

Remember what we said about the balls dangling from the mighty Genesis? That holds triple true for Interplay’s seminal platformer, Boogerman. The story involves environmental pollution, and ill-mannered Snotty Ragsdale’s evolution into the most juvenile super hero of all time - but you’d be forgiven for not giving a shit.

 

Boogerman became the stuff of schoolyard legend with his ability to battle baddies with snot, burps, farts and basically anything else that’ll get your ass smacked at the dinner table. Sure, an SNES version surfaced the next year, but poopy props go to Sega for landing this classic as a timed exclusive. After all, didn’t the fartinest 16-bit adventure of all time deserve Blast Processing? *bow*


Above: Boogerman knows how to sell his shit



Kuma
From the Tekken series

Aromatic Atrribute: Silent, but potentially deadly.

Since Tekken 3, Kuma has been permeating the ring with an offensive smokescreen that makes him the envy of the animal kingdom. Be it in his grizzly or adorable panda form, Heihachi’s favorite son has been clouding his opponents’ judgment for over a decade.

 

19 comments

  • Smeggs - January 1, 2010 11:02 p.m.

    LOL When I first played Castle Crashers and fought the bat with my friends I was like "It has Toxic Shits! Run away!"
  • ryno - November 21, 2008 9:03 p.m.

    it was F#%king funny when Johnny's barrel was tiped over. i laughed so hard i sh!t myself
  • Defguru7777 - October 3, 2008 2:59 a.m.

    Holy crap!
  • BooyaBuda - October 2, 2008 3:33 a.m.

    man the cow thing was so stoopidly hilarious
  • Corsair89 - October 2, 2008 2:29 a.m.

    Fantastic article! It's always fun to be completely immature.
  • TheSuburbiaRuins - October 2, 2008 2:02 a.m.

    Played all of these games, And those parts are so memorable, Good job Chris.
  • sine.metu - October 2, 2008 12:20 a.m.

    You guys completely left out Fable. Not cool.
  • CuddlyBomber - October 1, 2008 10:14 p.m.

    very funny. I don't even have to say more than that. A very good read Chris.
  • chrisat928 - October 1, 2008 9:54 p.m.

    Awesome article. Had me laughing all the way through it. Can't wait to see who buys into the GTA thing.
  • wysiwyg - October 7, 2008 noon

    What about Abe from the Oddworld games, he/it used flatulance as a game mechanic.
  • StupidFaceXD - October 5, 2008 5:38 a.m.

    Hilarious. Especially the ending. Keep up the good work you huys.
  • Samael - October 2, 2008 11:53 p.m.

    Sharte is indeed worth repeating. ....Sharte.
  • Jacksonman07 - October 2, 2008 5:40 p.m.

    Oh Chris, you and your wackyness.
  • MacGyver1138 - October 2, 2008 4:13 p.m.

    But DisgruntledTable, the villagers do care when your creature craps in the villages. If I remember correctly, it would actually make people sick if done too often. I trained my creature to throw the crap into the distance every time he did it. Good boy.
  • DisgruntledTable - October 2, 2008 6:02 a.m.

    You left out Black & White where your creature shits all over your town and neither the creature nor the villagers care.
  • Corsair89 - October 2, 2008 2:42 a.m.

    The nice background music in the video was by far the best part of the whole article.
  • FrizzySkernip - October 2, 2008 1:35 a.m.

    As soon as I saw this article on the front page, I KNEW it would be written by Chris.
  • krunkattack - October 1, 2008 11:15 p.m.

    hilarious article! i didn't play most of these games but it was entertaining still
  • TedDidlio - May 11, 2009 6:56 a.m.

    this beaut of an article did NOT get the recognition it deserved. huzzah for chris and his love of farty butts.

Showing 1-19 of 19 comments

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