The problem: Launch PSP and DS units shipped with an unusually large number of dead pixels. Most retail outlets refused to do anything about the defective hardware, stating it wasn’t their problem.
The response: Nintendo came through, offering free, speedy replacement to anyone with even one dead (or constantly active) pixel. Sony downplayed the issue, asking gamers to play for a while and see if it really bothered them (YES, JESUS) and then send it in for repair.
We hated it because: Spending over $100 on a new handheld device is a major decision, so the last thing we wanted to see was a bright-as-the-sun pixel blaring out of the screen on day one. Twisted Metal Head-On was a dark, dark game, and one burned pixel might as well been a hundred, while WipEout Pure, with its flashing lights and neon landscapes, made dead pixels leap off the screen.
Halo 3's scratched discs
The problem: The collector’s tin for a special edition of Halo 3 was actually scratching and damaging the game disc inside. Hey, those scratches are $10 extra!
The response: Microsoft acknowledged the issue and offered free replacement to those affected by the tin. The process took about two weeks, and was not extended to anyone whose game was scratched by the 360 itself – another issue entirely.
We hated it because: We, like millions of others on Halo 3’s launch day, wanted to be a part of the mayhem and get into the shit right away. Upon opening the collector’s edition, the disc flopped out of the tin and fell the floor – not a good sign at all.
PlayStations overheating, crapping out
The problem: The original PlayStation would overheat and crap out, causing audio problems, games to stop working, or, rather specifically, FMV cutscenes to not play.
The response: The internet wasn’t exactly a vast source of information in 1995, so we’re not sure if Sony actually responded in any official capacity. The popular workaround was to turn the PlayStation upside down, which would negate the warped plastic caused by overheating.
We hated it because: This one was kind of our fault. Most people’s PlayStations worked fine, but if you left it sitting on carpet or in a poorly ventilated area, it was bound to give up the ghost. Some of us had to go through three or four units to learn the lesson. Give us a break, we were like 15.
Wiidiots breaking TVs
The problem: Wii Remotes kept flying out of people’s hands and into their expensive TVs, supposedly because of snapping wrist straps. Property damage lulz ensue for everyone who knows how to hold a controller.
The response: Nintendo offered to replace any broken wrist straps, but wasn’t about to pay for everyone’s broken TVs, lamps and windows. You’d think after word got around people would stop flinging the damn thing like a bunch of idiots.
We hated it because: Nintendo shouldn’t have to tell people “don’t swing the remote so fast it flies out of your stupid hand,” but they were essentially forced to with newer wrist straps and even more precautionary videos and pre-game warnings.
Above: "Don't be stupid, stupid!"
Above: Also the "Wii Jacket" looks like a discarded condom