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Gaming's most absurdly oversized limbs


Sometimes the issue isn’t bulk, it’s length. Consider The Jungle Book: Rhythm N'Groove (PS1) – I know King Louis has long arms, but for ball’s sake, these are just stupid.


Above: They don’t even fit in our column 

The next one’s a bit more subtle. Just like you’d never question that Chewy Chips Ahoy are better than regular Chips Ahoy, you know that Lara Croft has the sexiest legs of any fictional tomb raider. What makes them so sexy? It’s probable that after giving her normal, non-sexy legs, the concept artists quickly erased their mistake, made them longer and slimmer and then high-fived each other and ate some Chewy Chips Ahoy.

Take a look at this comparison between in-game Lara and her human counterpart, Angelina Jolie. See where Angelina’s legs start? See where Lara’s start? She’s an ass on sticks.


Left: Human
Right: Possibly the result of a stretchy medieval torture device 


These aren’t technically limbs, but they were too amusing (and necessary as filler) to not include. Apparently the only way to represent torsos on the N64 and PS1 was with giant triangles. Smaller, less insane-looking triangles were absolutely out of the question.


Above:  “GRR – I’M GONNA SLAP YOU WITH MY TINY HANDS JUST AS SOON AS I GET THIS GIANT YIELD SIGN REMOVED FROM MY CHEST!” 


Above: “Drat! I should have known that having my arms replaced with accordions would negatively affect my ability to hold a gun!”


Above: Look, it’s a photo of Richard Garriott taped onto an inflatable punching clown! 


This one’s a bit of a straggler. I was going to include it in the giant armed black guy section, but since these arms look more like undiscovered deep sea creatures than arms, I figured they deserved their own category of failure.


Above: Not only was Daikatana a massive commercial failure, it looked stupid! 

59 comments

  • gamerdude77 - March 20, 2009 8:13 p.m.

    I worship the sexyness of Chun Li's thighs!
  • it_burns - March 1, 2009 2:47 p.m.

    There hasn't been a single article in the past month or two that hasn't mentioned Chun-li and her magnificent thighs. I might go into withdrawal once the buzz dies down, though.
  • darkside17 - March 1, 2009 6:07 a.m.

    The guys with triangle shaped chest freak me right the f*** out
  • Gsindahouse - February 27, 2009 9:40 p.m.

    before I finished scrolling down, I'd already known Sora was on the BIG FEET side hahaha
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - February 27, 2009 7:19 a.m.

    I'm surprised how many opinions there are about something as seemingly banal as oversized limbs! I did think of many of your suggestions, but chose entries I felt I could make fun of the easiest. ;)
  • iHeartNintendo - February 27, 2009 4:20 a.m.

    that is so tru and i think that 50 cent payed that one guy that made the game to make him look buffer O_O that is crazy
  • Orionthefirst - February 27, 2009 2:17 a.m.

    My first comment ever! Let this live on in our (and by our, I mean my) memory forever! Anyway, shouldn't Sonic be on here? His body is like an upside-down peanut!
  • RedOutlive10 - February 27, 2009 1:28 a.m.

    Why include L4D tank? He is meant to be a necro hulk, nothing oversized about it.
  • thebigtarget1 - February 27, 2009 1:07 a.m.

    Fable 1s main character has huge feet!!! why isnt he on here!?
  • bron1417 - February 26, 2009 7:52 p.m.

    funny article as always tyler.
  • killemall - February 26, 2009 7:08 p.m.

    why oh why did you mention Daikatana? just why?
  • kenshinxx - February 26, 2009 6:02 p.m.

    Hm, fair enough. I see your point. I still think Ken and Ryu's arms a bit too large. Sure Zangief is huge...but the dude wrestles BEARS. Ken and Ryu's fighting style doesn't lend itself to overly muscled physiques in my opinion. They look more disproportional than most of the others. But yeah I see what you're saying in regards to portrayals of black characters. You guys always have the most entertaining articles. Keep up the great work!
  • GamesRadarTylerWilde - February 26, 2009 5:57 p.m.

    @kenshinxx: True, many of the characters in Gears of War are white, and they too have freakish arms, but not as freakish. They almost make a point of showing off Cole's arms. I'd disagree that Ken and Ryu's arms are more exaggerated than Balrog's. I would say that Zangief's probably are. As I say in the article, giant arms aren't exclusive to black characters. But we've got kind of a running joke about the portrayal of black people in games. They are so often oversized, freakishly-built hulks who say nothing more than clever one-liners. I think it's noticeable enough to warrant pointing out.
  • kenshinxx - February 26, 2009 5:29 p.m.

    I don't get the rationale behind specifying BLACK guys with huge arms. The over-sized arm trend isn't even remotely exclusive to black characters. Ken and Ryu's arms look more out of place than Balrog's. And how about every damn character from the Gears of War universe? They're almost all white.
  • mdog750809 - February 26, 2009 3:35 p.m.

    Stretchy limbs......Where is Dhalsim!??
  • LionheartAce - February 26, 2009 2:56 p.m.

    I looked at the Chun-Li art then... I JIZZED IN MY PANTS!
  • Ravenbom - February 26, 2009 7:13 a.m.

    No Freakishly Undersized Torso category? I was waiting for it after Giant Triangle Chests. Dhalism comes to mind, especially considering Charlie already filled this week's quota for Sonic punchlines. And sometimes, a small torso is all it takes to make arms seem freakishly huge.
  • Heyexclamationpoint - February 26, 2009 2:38 a.m.

    No mention of Vincent's feet from FF7? I'm not even sure its possible to walk right with feet like that.
  • jdog2491 - February 26, 2009 12:04 a.m.

    Chun-li has got freakin thunder thighs as C.viper said "Men don't like such large thighs"LOL
  • Tasty_Pasta - February 25, 2009 11:52 p.m.

    @Tyler: Ha, yeah, you definitely looked pissed in that old pic.

Showing 1-20 of 59 comments

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