James Seth Lynch - Kane & Lynch: Dead Men

Many of the convicts on this list have some heroic or at least vaguely redeemable qualities. Sometimes, however, you want pure bastardry, and that's something provided by James Seth Lynch in abundance. You know he's a psycho because he's got three names, like all the mental ones have!

Lynch might look like a cross between Jeff Minter and The Grinch, but he's a fascinating character, not least due to his role within videogame lore. It's not often you get to play as an old, bitter, insane, thoroughly despicable character. Say what you will about Kane & Lynch's overall quality, the sheer hideousness and deplorability of the "heroes" made it unique. Not to mention, the fantastic co-op angle in which Lynch's hallucinations are made horrifyingly clear seals the deal. An outstanding videogame convict, if perhaps also a truly awful human being.

Riddick - Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay

In your host's humble opinion, Butcher Bay started to fall apart as soon as the prison angle was dropped. During the opening chapters where Riddick was a true inmate, the atmosphere was great, the mission system was interesting, and the feeling of oppression was very unique. It kind of stopped being so good once Riddick made his escape and the game stopped feeling like an adventure game in favor of devolving into a straight shooter.

In any case, you can't say no to Vin Diesel, and that's why he's on the list. From his lovely bald head to a voice so dense you could lose a ship in it, The D-Man is perfect criminal anti-hero material. That's a skill your mother can be proud of.

Marcus Fenix - Gears of War

Is Marcus Fenix shitloads of amazing? More like ten shitloads! This husky-voiced grub scratcher is undeniably a rock-hard bastard with a face that only a mother could love and a mouth that only George Carlin could be proud of. Sentenced to 40 years on dereliction of duty charges, Fenix gets an early release thanks to the fact that destroying genocidal subterranean monstrosities is more important than jailing a war hero who missed his daddy.

Marcus may not have much more personality than your average videogame space marine, but his gallows humor and no-nonsense attitude betrays a surprisingly likable and identifiable old scrapper underneath the cynicism and swearing. He's a meathead, but we love him.

Ganon - The Legend of Zelda series

Ganon is perhaps gaming's most determined re-offender. Despite having been found guilty of heinous crimes and imprisoned multiple times across several potential realities, the self-styled King of Thieves has managed to trump the likes of Cody and Lynch thanks to the sheer scale of his daring escapes. While our more human convicts have broken out of mere brick-and-mortar jails, this guy can wriggle out of prisons that have been made by Gods. Alternate dimensions, underwater prisons, bodily destruction, nothing locks Ganon away for good. That's pretty impressive.

Ganon was put on trial by the Sages and originally sentenced to death, but he was so awesome that he couldn't even be executed properly. That's what a fantastic convict this Gerudo git happens to be, and why he'll never get parole. Besides which, who else could combine green skin with ginger orange hair and still be taken seriously as a credible bad guy?

Feb 3, 2011

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  • codystovall - December 21, 2013 8:27 p.m.

    I am Cody
  • RebornKusabi - December 22, 2013 11:18 p.m.

    As am I.
  • TheGooseinator - December 21, 2013 5:18 p.m.

    Lee Everett. The Walking Dead's intro has you on your way to prison, and you have the rest of the game to prove not that you were innocent, but rather that you are a better, more caring person than what society has labeled you as. Also, Lee's connection with Clem was one of the most dynamic and heartfelt relationships in gaming, to the point that I shed actual tears during the game's ending.
  • shawksta - December 21, 2013 11:31 a.m.

    2011? Damn Goddamn Capcom and that Cody ending in Street Fighter X Tekken teasing a new Final Fight
  • BladedFalcon - December 21, 2013 11:09 a.m.

    Man... I feel like an old fart now. Usually since I had discovered the site in the late 2010, seeing ClassicRadar articles was cool because they were always things that I hadn't read before, so they felt new to me... Now apparently I've been here for so long that articles I DO remember when they had come out are now posted XD
  • TheGooseinator - December 21, 2013 5:21 p.m.

    Same! Found the site at the very end of 2009, right when I got my 360. Hilarious to see whether or not the articles of "old" hold up. More often than not, they do.
  • Defguru7777 - February 5, 2011 5:03 p.m.

    I always like Billy Coen from Resident Evil 0 (and The Umbrella Chronicles). I just though he looked cool.
  • Darkhawk - February 5, 2011 6:34 a.m.

    > Correction! Cody = Final Fight, not Street Fighter. Would you call Mega Man a Marvel vs. Capcom character? Clearly, Jim Sterling knows nothing about video games!
  • AuthorityFigure - February 5, 2011 1:58 a.m.

    Ganon was a convict? Somehow I missed that. He must have a lot of warrants out on him. Speaking of which, why aren't there any Hyrulian Police?
  • GameManiac - February 4, 2011 9:26 p.m.

    I agree completely with Ganon, especially after Ocarina of Time's ending. I might recall Cody, once I get SSFIV:3D for the 3DS.
  • jackthemenace - February 4, 2011 3:40 p.m.

    "More important than jailing a war hero who misses his daddy"- LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL! I Completely forgot Marcus was in prison :L And Ganon is actually an AMZING convict, now you mention it :P
  • Stabby_Joe - February 4, 2011 3:16 p.m.

    The Suffering wasn't a "mixed" game, Ties that Bind on the other hand...
  • SunnyvaleTrash - February 4, 2011 2:47 p.m.

    Wow, I totally forgot about The Suffering. I really enjoyed that game.
  • FanofSaiyan - February 4, 2011 2:40 p.m.

    What about Sly Cooper (even though he's only technically been imprisoned only once throughout the course of his series). His IS a professional thief after all...
  • philipshaw - February 4, 2011 1:52 p.m.

    Great list
  • GorditaSlim - February 4, 2011 12:13 p.m.

    Another fantastic article. I remember playing The Suffering when it was released, and while the game mechanics were mediocre, I loved the game's atmosphere. That's definitely a franchise that I feel could use some new life, whether it be in the form of a sequel or a remake.
  • d0x - February 4, 2011 9:50 a.m.

    While I agree Riddick was at its best for the prison stuff which was about half the game as long as you stuck with the stealth style play the rest was still rewarding from a gameplay perspective. The non prison stuff's only issue was the story. It was just more interesting in prison but otherwise the game and the "remake" are incredible and now you can get it on demand for $20..or less used at gamestop. If you dont have it you owe it to yourself to get it.
  • oryandymackie - February 4, 2011 8:02 a.m.

    @fetalspray No, I'm pretty sure Torque was silent through the entire game.
  • mattdark - February 4, 2011 7:22 a.m.

    Agree with the other posts round here, no love for Jack?
  • Trg564 - February 4, 2011 4:53 a.m.

    How about the character you play as in Oblivion? Then again, you kind of get a pardon from Emperor whatever he's called.

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