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Gaming's best crusty old men

Characters that fill their colostomy bags with pure win

Words: on September 6, 2010
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53 comments

  • shmikey - December 1, 2010 9:38 a.m.

    This brings to mind the possessed house from Ugly Americans. Now all I can think about is "USE THE GODDAMN COASTER!!!" That old crazy house, what will it kill with next?

  • barrage7667 - December 1, 2010 3:18 a.m.

    xcuse me?? WHAT ABOUT THE END!!! jeez hes the awesomest of the awesome

  • BurntToShreds - September 10, 2010 10:05 p.m.

    Bill is in Valhalla now...

  • skyline19 - September 9, 2010 1:04 p.m.

    Fisher isnt that old! hes still the greatest badass on the list though

  • MaynardJ - September 8, 2010 2 p.m.

    How about the guy that gives Link sword training in The Wind Waker? And his brother upstairs?

  • philipshaw - September 8, 2010 10:52 a.m.

    Great article but I would have had that gunslinger you meet in RDR when you first get into Mexico, his name escapes me though

  • b1utm3ister - September 8, 2010 1:30 a.m.

    ahhh loved this post! Well there's Borderland's TK (though he's not too old) but has a wooden leg and talks about taking some awful dumps so that's something.. Also Mr. Larry Laffer, he's old and crusty (everywhere) by now!

  • paganpoet - September 7, 2010 4:06 p.m.

    How could you not be obsessed with Snake's butt, though? It's practically in your face at all times in any MGS game.

  • grizzly311 - September 7, 2010 2:44 p.m.

    Glad to see Gepetto on the list. I forgot about that crazy bastard. Also reminds me that I never played the first Shadow Hearts.

  • mrplow8 - September 7, 2010 12:42 p.m.

    Where's Cranky Kong?

  • JD_Method - September 7, 2010 8:44 a.m.

    No Victor Sullivan from Uncharted? He's a dirty old man, and he shoots people too.

  • FETALJUICE - September 7, 2010 7:22 a.m.

    What about Shun-Di from the Virtua Fighter series? Old bastard with drunken master fighting style = pure WIN Colonel Hoffman from the Gears of War series? I love how he bitched at you for losing in the first Gears multiplayer and he still kicks Locust ass for being a Senior Officer.

  • Mamudo - September 7, 2010 5:53 a.m.

    Thumbs up for Gepetto!

  • The4X - September 7, 2010 5:32 a.m.

    Yeah, Zan's the best

  • ragingearth - September 7, 2010 4:34 a.m.

    Yeeeaahh, Heihachi should have DEFINITELY made the list. I'm the other bastard son of the Mishima Zaibastu...sue me..lol. But still, this list is great. Love the Harman add from Killer 7. Game still blows my mind.

  • RUSSO - September 7, 2010 4:29 a.m.

    Sam Fisher is like Jack Bauer. Remember when "24" begun and Kiefer Sutherland had so long hair, and now in the 8th season he's just older. That's the same future for Fisher. Also, you could bring "The Truth" from GTA San Andreas. Everyone likes a hippie with such lovely van "The Motherhood" VW van.

  • ChipTheExecutioner - September 7, 2010 4:03 a.m.

    Where the hell is Auron?????????????????

  • TheWebSwinger - September 7, 2010 3:28 a.m.

    Jim Sterling: ...kind of a perv actually. Hahah

  • Sebastian16 - September 7, 2010 3:11 a.m.

    Your obsession with Solid Snake's buttocks knows no bounds, Mr. Sterling. I had to scroll up and see if you were the author as soon as I read that bit!

  • clamburger - September 7, 2010 2:46 a.m.

    No uncle from red dead? Or captain price?........what the hell......

Showing 1-20 of 53 comments

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