Being old must have some fantastic perks. You can expose your genitalia in Wal-mart and get away with it, you can go to the toilet in your underwear and someone else will clean it up for you, and you suddenly see the appeal of all those daytime quiz shows. Yep, life close to death must be pretty sweet.
Old people also make for some great videogame characters, and to prove it, here's an article all about gaming's finest cantankerous elderly geezers. They may have more wrinkles than a baboon's ballbag, but they all kick ass in their special geriatric way.
Who doesn't love Left 4 Dead's zombie-shredding codger? Only petulant young punks who don't know they're born! As the elder statesman of the zombie apocalypse, Bill's combat experience and level headedness makes him one of the likeliest survivors of the Left 4 Dead series.
It's a shame that his experience didn't quite see him through to the end, but he'll still live forever in our memories.
Any list of old bastards is a failure if it doesn't include Solid Snake as he appears in Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. Prematurely aged due to being a clone of legendary soldier Big Boss, Snake decided that if he was going to get old, he was going to at least try and enjoy it.
Amping up his love of cigarettes, becoming a bitter goat of a shadow of his former glory, and growing the kind of mustache that only your grandpa can get away with, let it not be said that Snake doesn't make lemonade when life throws him lemons.
Old Snake is also noteworthy for having a fantastic arse for a man with the body of a seventy-year-old. Would that we could all retain such mighty cheeks when we reach our retirement years.
Snake isn't the only stealthy hero who is frankly getting far too old to play hide n' seek with an AK-47. Sam Fisher from MGS rival Splinter Cell has become quite a crotchety old git in his own right. The hair's gone grey, the belly's gotten paunchy, and all he does now is get all sentimental about his family.
Nevertheless, Fisher can still bring the heat when the situation calls for it, showing those no good youn'uns how it's done. Old age has apparently given him the ability to turn completely invisible in any room that's slightly darker than sunlight. And unlike most people who should be drawing a pension, he still has a grasp on modern technology. Realistically, Fisher shouldn't be able to use an optical camera. He should be hitting it with a shaking hand, asking if "You can get those there Intranets in this thing."
The Final Fantasy series has no shortage of grizzled old warhorses named Cid, but for our money it has to be the cigarette-smoking, woman-berating, swear-exclaiming Cid Highwind of Final Fantasy VII who takes the prize. His appearance in VII remains one of the most memorable Cids of the entire series, not least for that fact that he's one of the few playable ones, and he lights sticks of dynamite with his cigs. If that's not worth a trophy, I don't know what is.
Log in using Facebook to share comments, games, status update and other activity easily with your Facebook feed.