Gaming's 19 most impractical hairstyles: A stylist weighs in

Aerodynamic wings (Heihachi Mishima, Tekken)

Wearer is best known for: Hosting many of the King of the Iron Fist tournaments; throwing his son Kazuya off a cliff.

Trademark hairstyle: This is what happens when you're balding, and rather than rocking a hideous comb over, decide to spike your sideburns into full-on horns. It just goes to show that even when you're over the hill, nothing's stopping you from having a wicked haircut.

But can it be done? Easily. "That's just a lot of product, and his hair isn't that long, so it wouldn't be that heavy," says Henninger. He could even maintain it into old age, considering the hair will only get thinner.

Missile launcher (Daryan Crescend, Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney)

Wearer is best known for: Possibly being the only international detective that moonlights as a rock guitarist.

Trademark hairstyle: Yes, Crescend's 'do does look a bit phallic, but given his fashion sense, it's actually meant to resemble the nose of a shark. Upon closer inspection, you'll notice his shark-tooth zipper and toothed hoodie; the gaudy hairstyle simply ties the look all together.

But can it be done? "There's no way," says Henninger within seconds of seeing Crescend. "To have [the tip be] white, I don't know how you could do that. That's not the end of his hair; I'm seeing tips [on the back of his head], so to dye the middle of the hair with that precisionthat just wouldn't work." Unless Crescend's wearing a cone on his head, this simply can't be done.

Hole-y mohawk (Birdie, Street Fighter Alpha)

Wearer is best known for: Choke-slamming people with a chain, then licking said chain in a profoundly discomforting way.

Trademark hairstyle: It's like you took a cookie cutter and slammed it through the world's most magnificent mohawk. From the sides, it looks a bit like a blonde can opener.

But can it be done? No way. "If there's a plastic thing on top of his head," says Henninger, "that would work. If it was hair, that would never work." It's elementary, really--if you cut a hole in your hair, there's nothing for the upper parts to stand on. A perfect disc-shaped gap in a mohawk simply isn't possible in the real world.

Cinnamon bun antennae (June Lin Milliam, Star Gladiator)

Wearer is best known for: Using a halo--excuse us, plasma ring--as a futuristic weapon; being a gymnast in the 24th century.

Trademark hairstyle: Take pigtails, twirl them into a ball, then make them defy gravity. They look like a cross between antlers and a snail's shell.

But can it be done? Sure, either through wires or a hairpiece setup. "This could all be her regular hair, and the antennae could just be clip-in wig things." If they were fake, custom-designing extensions for June's head could cost upwards of $100. And they'd need what Henninger describes as a series of interwoven "hardcore clips" to stay in.

Spaghetti ram horns (Larxene, Kingdom Hearts: Chain of Memories)

Wearer is best known for: Being the only female member of Organization XIII; perforating her enemies with electrified throwing knives.

Trademark hairstyle: Another antennae-like hairstyle, grafted onto a slicked-back pixie cut.

But can it be done? Sure. The blue eyes implies that the blonde color could easily be natural; "all she's doing is gelling it back, then putting some wax or hair glue [on the sides]," says Henninger. Alternatively, Larxene could stick a wire in her hair, a la Pippy Longstocking. Though we're not sure that'd play out so well in combat--Henninger emphasizes that "if she's moving around, that would never stay."

Extended donut (Agent J, Elite Beat Agents)

Wearer is best known for: Using the power of dance to help people in need and defending the planet from an alien invasion.

Trademark hairstyle: It looks like a giant picked up Agent J by the hair, twirled it tightly around his pinky, then gently placed him back on the ground so as not to ruffle his snazzy suit. All of this was done to the tune of "Jumping Jack Flash," by the way.

But can it be done? Shockingly, this hairstyle is possible. "If he could have a really long part of his hair combed over," explains Henninger, "he could take his hair, wrap it around a Styrofoam donut, and pin it in." Even crazier is the fact that he might be able to make it stick whilst dancing. "It's pretty light--if you're spraying it and securing it enough, it would probably be OK."

WTF is happening (Seymour Guado, Final Fantasy X)

Wearer is best known for: Preaching for the church of Yevon; massively c-blocking our hero Tidus when he asks Yuna to marry him.

Trademark hairstyle: Without the spikes, Seymour's hair would be fairly ordinary, even with the deep navy blue coloring. With the spikes, it looks like some kind of freakish spider/jellyfish hybrid has implanted itself onto Seymour's skull.

But can it be done? "This is not hair," Henninger says conclusively. "This is a headpiece. There's no way. At best, it's plastic or a styrofoam, spray-painted thing with a headband." And a custom-made hairpiece wouldn't come cheap--Seymour must be fronting the bill with all that Yevon money.

The Rapunzel (Millia Rage, Guilty Gear)

Wearer is best known for: Using her hair as a deadly weapon to carry out assassinations.

Trademark hairstyle: Setting aside the fact that her hair can morph and lash out at will, this mane is as long as they get. And the fact that Millia uses her own hair as a chair during some intros is truly impressive.

But can it be done? "This is impossible to maintain," says Henninger. "How would you even start to brush it? You couldn't function." To shampoo and wash such a style would take hours upon hours, and just forget about blow-drying. Plus, to achieve this length, you'd probably have to start growing it from birth. Sorry for the bad news, Guilty Gear cosplayers. The final verdict? "Completely impossible."

Red Marge (Kindle, Advance Wars)

Wearer is best known for: Commanding Black Hole troops with an iron fist; excelling at combat in urban terrain.

Trademark hairstyle: As her name suggests, Kindle rocks a fiery-red head of hair, which looks like it could pop a balloon. And we have no idea what's going on with that little curvy knot where her bangs should be.

But can it be done? Perhaps, but it's impractical as all get-out. "Money-wise, for the dye alone, that would be around $200," says Henninger. "Her eyebrows are darker, so you'd have to bleach all of it first [to achieve the bright red color]. Product-wise, she could easily have a beehive, and just put the hair around it." And the battlefield can't be good for her 'do: all that hair product would likely retain all the ash and dust that's kicked around by the surrounding warzone.

Polychromatic 'hawk (Duck King, Fatal Fury)

Wearer is best known for: Breakdance fighting, having a duck entourage.

Trademark hairstyle: A razor thin Mohawk that's both bright yellow and deep blue. It frequently bobs back and forth during battle, be it on the streets or the dance floor.

But can it be done? Yes, for a price. Duck King would have to bleach his hair profusely and shave the sides of his head constantly to maintain the look. "You'd have to do that every three or four days, because hair grows fast," says Henninger. "He'd then have to dye it blue--but blue color is only pigment, so it's only going to be on the outside." He'd also need ample amounts of hair glue and wax to make it stay, and burn in the blue hue with a flat iron. Total cost? "Probably around $150, each time." Doesn't sound like breakdancer money to us.