2) I’m also thankful that I can donate one or all of my vital organs to the Aperture Science self esteem fund for girls.
Paul Ryan, Associate Editor, CheatPlanet
1) My Fallout 3 Character - I am thankful for Killdorf, the most powerful Fallout 3 character ever created by anyone at any time ever. He was created by me. And, in case you were wondering, he’s much more powerful than Tyler, Chris and Shane’s characters put together - they suck. But how can any one man create a Vault Dweller with so much power? Well...
Killdorf is already level 16 and has proven to be the premier mutant-head-exploding, robot-mess-upping warrior of the Washington D.C. wasteland, who will almost certainly finish the game with the best possible ending, whatever that is. It won’t even be hard for Killdorf to achieve this because of all his useful skills.
When Killdorf isn’t solving problems with his mind, his maxed out energy weapons skill helps him turn Mutant Masters into goo with his plasma rifle. Unfortunately, he’s only found one plasma rifle so far, and it’s about to break. Sometimes he uses a laser rifle, which is pretty good too. When he runs out of laser ammo, he goes back to town and buys more! And gets a discount from a sidequest he did because he’s such a nice guy.
Above: A girl that is decidedly not Paul’s girlfriend
2) Sid Meier’s Civilization Revolution: The only game my girlfriend will play -
This may be the only reason my Xbox hasn’t been chucked into a dumpster somewhere. I came home from work one day and was greeted with, “Civilization is like crack!” from a distinctly feminine voice somewhere farther into my flat. Fearing my roommate had finally played too much Animal Crossing and gone through reverse puberty*, I cautiously entered my room and found my girlfriend playing Civ Revolutions.
She hasn’t stopped playing since. While I now have to share Xbox time and she doesn’t seem interested in expanding her gaming library, yet, I’m thankful we finally have something in common - it makes the whole dating thing much easier if you share interests. That and, I have an easy retort when she reminds me I’m wasting my life spending every hour of free time I’ve had in the past three weeks playing Fallout 3.
*Don’t worry, Animal Crossing is actually totally hardcore and won’t affect your physiology
Eric Bratcher, Executive Editor
1) I’m thankful that I’ve finally found a few full-price PS3 exclusives - MGS4, LittleBigPlanet, Resistance 2 - that are as good as my favorite PSN downloadable games (Everyday Shooter, PAIN, Echochrome). Guess this console isn’t quite dead yet.
2) I’m thankful that Castle Crashers finally came out because I’ve been salivating over it since it was first revealed… as a GameCube title. Conversely, I’m also thankful that Duke Nukem Forever still hasn’t come out. I hope it never does. At this point, no amount of fantastic gameplay would be as satisfying as making fun of it continues to be.
Above: Mr. Bratcher couldn’t give a shit about Duke
3) I’m thankful that no matter what the political and economic climate of the world, I am able to go online and play games with people from all over the globe and we all get along because our love of games outweighs all of our differences. At least, those of us mature enough to keep from screaming obscenities, racial slurs and sexual preference epithets at one another do.
Joe McNeilly, Senior Editor
1) Netflix/360 integration - The promise of the home entertainment center has been gloriously realized with the NXE update. No, not the dumb avatars. Netflix’s “Watch it now” is the new channel surfing - MOAR CONTENTS PLS.
2) Wii dominance in the mass market - I love that the Wii is providing a safe and wholesome way for families, children and casual players to have fun with the video games. No, seriously. Ultra-realistic exploding headshots aren’t for everybody, and I’d like to publicly recognize and honor that.
Above: Love that Wii
Brett Elston, Nintendo Editor
1) Rock Band avoiding Guitar Hero’s downward spiral into over-advertised hysteria. Everywhere I turn this season I see Big Tits Umlaut and Mrs. Japanese Schoolgirl Fetish hawking KFC products or any number or Activision-owned celebrities pretending to know and care what a Rocking Hero 360 even is. Thank you, Harmonix, for bothering to give a shit about the user experience and your brand’s perception to said users.
Above: Hope you like pooping
2) A surprising amount of competent third party Wii and DS efforts. The former has No More Heroes, de Blob, a shockingly decent Call of Duty and Blast Works, while DS saw the technologically advanced Viva Pinata Pocket Paradise, another fantastic Castlevania, the I-can’t-believe-this-works Sonic Chronicles and three amazing RPGs from Square Enix. These publishers excel because they know there’s more to making a decent game than showing up for work on time.
Tyler Nagata, PC Editor
1) Billie Holiday - Fallout 3
I’m thankful that the Fallout 3 soundtrack features “Crazy He Calls Me” by Billie Holiday. Her haunting voice is full of the blues and perfectly complements Fallout 3’s war torn Wasteland. There’s also nothing like listening to an old-timey love song while blowing the brains out of a Super Mutant with V.A.T.S.
2) Alesia Glidewell and Zoey - Left 4 Dead
I’m thankful for the inclusion of Zoey in Left 4 Dead. When you’re playing as her, teammates are less likely to scream at you when you shoot them in the back of the head and start teabagging them when they ask for assistance. She’s just too adorable.