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GamesRadar Ultimate Character Battle! - Day 4

 
FROM: Disgaea/The Internet

Etna Googles herself out of curiosity and is overwhelmed by the sheer volume of fan art that depicts her getting it on with giant enemy crabs for massive damage. Horrified, she closes the browser window and opens her email, only to unwittingly open an attachment that instantly sends all of her personal information to Latvian gangsters. Her identity is stolen, transactions are made and her credit rating is so badly ruined that even her suicidal army of Prinnies leaves her.

She spends the next 20 years in front of the Dark Assembly, arguing unsuccessfully that the internet is a series of tubes and as such should be filled with acid until such time as it's been "purged." She loses the court battle, but goes on to live a full and happy life. The internet wins - but at what cost?



FROM:
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction/Mortal Kombat series

WHOAHHHH, CHINESE NINJA WARRIOR
WITH YOUR HEART SO COLD
SUB-ZEERRROOOOOOOOO
WHOOAHHHHHH, YOUR LIFE IS A MYSTERY
WHY DO YOU WEAR THE…
MASK?
SUB-ZEEEEEERROOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO


(If you don't get the reference we just made, watch this video for about 40 seconds)

Yeah, you know what? We're just going to go ahead and give this one to the Hulk, thanks.

 




FROM:
The Incredible Hulk: Ultimate Destruction/The internet

PUNY INTERNET RICKROLL HULK. PUNY INTERNET PHOTOSHOP HULK'S FACE ONTO HORRIBLE STRETCHED-ANUS PHOTOS. PUNY INTERNET SPAM COMMENT SECTION OF HULK'S BLOG WITH ADS FOR WEBCAM PORN. HULK SMASH PUNY INTERNET! RARRRRGHH! HULK SMASH PUNY PLANET!

HULK TYPE THIS IN COLD VACUUM OF SPACE!


ABOVE: HULK FINALLY FIGURE OUT HOW TO USE WEBCAM! HULK ALSO NOT WEARING PANTS.

HOW YOU READ THIS? HOW HULK POST THIS? HULK NOT KNOW. HULK NOT CARE. HULK ONLY CARE THAT HULK STRONGEST. HULK WIN!

 

Huh, so the Hulk won? Does that... Does he even count as a... he does? Really?

Well, shit.

So it looks like we're all dead then, seeing as Hulk smashed the planet and all. And the internet doesn't exist anymore, so we're all out of a job and you're not actually reading this right now. But don't worry, we'll probably all be brought back to life in a few issues, when it's revealed Hulk actually destroyed Shadow Earth-127 or whatever. In the meantime, Hulk is our...

 

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 

Jul 3, 2008

41 comments

  • D0CCON - May 29, 2011 11:02 p.m.

    After the Portal 2 ending, it looks like the companion cube can survive fire. IT COULD HAVE WON!!!
  • MFenix - May 6, 2011 9:50 p.m.

    In light of portal 2 companion cube should've at least of beat charizard.
  • SerpentineZERO - May 4, 2011 3:29 a.m.

    Surprising amount of people who took this seriously. I don't think they actually read the article. @Romination: That one also had running jokes, if not as many. It did have only have of the characters, though. "Actual battles? The ability to care about what's going on? " Did you suddenly stop getting the joke and start taking it seriously? You're entitled to your opinion, but i find that to be odd reasoning for an article that's nearly impossible to take seriously.
  • Romination - May 3, 2011 1:59 a.m.

    Linking back to this from your new character battle just highlights how bad that one is. Where are the running jokes? Actual battles? The ability to care about what's going on? You pulled two jokes from that one in this one- notably the ending of the new one is like where Crash is introduced here (even to the point of basically saying "because no one cares otherwise) and there's a curb stomp joke in both.
  • Darkhawk - April 30, 2011 11:33 p.m.

    Just as viable, for the Sub-Zero/Hulk match: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dj26N10Ymlg "Doc Bruce Banner, Pelted by Gamma Rays Turns into the Hulk, Ain't he unglamorous? Wrecking the town with the power of a bull There ain't no monster clown, who is as lovable As ever-lovin' Hulk. HULK! HULK!"
  • Glides - April 7, 2011 3:35 a.m.

    Of course the Hulk won! His video game was awesome
  • SlinkyDink - April 6, 2011 1:43 a.m.

    and Mike Tyson beating Master Chief, that actually made perfect sense to me even though I hate Mike Tyson.
  • SlinkyDink - April 6, 2011 1:42 a.m.

    This is probably the funniest thing I've read on the site, or the internet! I'm glad to see Hulk win, i thought you were gonna let the internet spam him to death. I gotta say though, ever since I read the first fight between Lara Croft and Simba on a skateboard I was rooting for Simba to win.
  • warsaz - April 6, 2011 1:40 a.m.

    Absolutely Awesome. great job guys.
  • JPorFavor - March 4, 2011 1:12 a.m.

    Brilliant. Truly.
  • EwoksTasteLikeChicken - January 1, 2011 9:03 p.m.

    I loved this contest! And people on here should loosen up, it was supposed to be funny, not serius.
  • joemama9999 - September 23, 2010 7:41 p.m.

    HULK COULDN'T HAVE POSSIBLY WON!!!! Master cheif would have won. (As mike tyson approaches master cheif, the cheif suddenly lunges at mike tyson and decapitates him with an energy sword. ) :)
  • Ganonpork - July 24, 2010 7:41 a.m.

    if you only had real video game chars etna would have won
  • Cyberninja - February 24, 2010 1:48 a.m.

    when are you going to make round 2 with newer characters and etna winning and ada would have won the fight the end
  • Turboash - February 18, 2010 7:33 p.m.

    Love the Mario fights... thats TOTALLY how they would go down! Oh, and anyone who uses the word "Really" as a question / sarcastic comment is a douche.
  • superfj0220 - January 9, 2010 3:05 a.m.

    DUDE!!! REALLY???!!!! WHAT THA F***???!!!!! SUB-ZERO SHOULD HAVE WON!!! I PROTEST THE DECISION!!!!!!!
  • bigkriem - January 6, 2010 3:14 a.m.

    HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLK YES IM RETARTED HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLK
  • Kordocwaffle - December 30, 2009 1:42 a.m.

    RYour best article yet
  • damunsta - December 29, 2009 11:22 p.m.

    Whats up with Mario, whys he such a dick.
  • Menelin - December 29, 2009 8:27 p.m.

    No, good sir. The Hulk does not win. This article, in fact, wins.

Showing 1-20 of 41 comments

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