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GamesRadar Ultimate Character Battle! - Day 2

FROM: Zork series/Pong

The Pong paddle is on a pitch-dark field. It is likely to be eaten by a grue. After the paddle fails to heed several warnings to turn on a light, a grue approaches and attempts to eat the paddle. However, the paddle is too big to go down in one gulp, and because it's made out of pixels - as opposed to pure imagination, like the grue - the grue has a hard time trying to bite off a piece. It isn't long before the paddle gets lodged in the grue's throat and the grue chokes to death. Pong Paddle wins.


FROM: Mr. Driller/Zero Wing

Oh, God, these two? This fight has been canceled due to total lack of interest. Crash Bandicoot wins.


FROM: Mega Man series/Street Fighter Alpha series

After savagely beating Dan into near-unconsciousness, Mega Man tries to do what he does at the end of every major fight: steal his enemy's power. However, Dan has zero power. Mega Man's robot brain tries to divide by zero and explodes. Dan cheers his own mighty prowess.


FROM: Monkey Island series/Legend of Zelda series

Guybrush attempts to engage Link in the time-honored art of Insult Swordfighting, but finds himself thrown off when Link only responds to his insults with "HUP!" or "HAAAAAAAAH!" Confused, Guybrush starts clicking things in his inventory on other things, and Link has a sudden, violent flashback to the time when the bad men came and made him do the bad things on the CD-based system with the awful point-and-click interface. Overwhelmed by trauma, Link slips into a fugue state and goes blood simple.

When the red haze in front of his eyes finally clears, Guybrush is lying in several ragged pieces at his feet. Horrified, Link tears off his evidence-soaked clothes, stuffs them into an incinerator and silently vows never to speak of this (or anything else) again. Link wins.

12 comments

  • SerpentineZERO - May 4, 2011 3:21 a.m.

    God, that Simon Cowell vs WCC entry still cracks me the hell up.
  • skyguy343 - August 15, 2010 7:12 a.m.

    Somehow I know that Editor 4 in the Ulala vs. Simba battle was Chris Antista.
  • skyguy343 - September 23, 2008 12:55 a.m.

    mega man lost...
  • spoonner - August 31, 2008 3:24 p.m.

    Um... Where's the third one?
  • Godmode990 - September 18, 2009 6:24 a.m.

    Crash Bandicoot wins ROFLMAO
  • Hellhunter97 - September 17, 2009 10:37 p.m.

    How did Master Chief lose to a guy who doesnt have guns. he could like shoot his head off or crush him with the grav hammer. HALO RULEZ
  • fatcat275 - May 19, 2009 5:46 a.m.

    i am forever in your debt KTUOS. Until I forget about your valiant deed.
  • KTUOS - January 22, 2009 10:35 p.m.

    To be helpful here the html for part 3 http://www.gamesradar.com/f/gamesradar-ultimate-character-battle-day-3/a-20080702114148770029
  • Awesomeforthemasses - September 17, 2009 7:22 p.m.

    (snif) why did you have kill Okami twice?
  • Narudude360 - June 25, 2009 11:47 p.m.

    I really hope I forget... what was I talking about? What is my password? Oh crap! I have to leave this one page open for the rest of my life but the power is going out but I am using a laptop but the internet is suffering and I might lose battery power soon and... what?
  • Elfangor01 - May 31, 2009 3:40 a.m.

    The Link Fugue state is my favorite fight next to the *SPOILERZZZ!!!!!!* Hulk somehow killing the internet.
  • evildevil2 - December 13, 2008 11:52 p.m.

    Mega-man and master chief lost...what the !@$&*$&^*)!&*^_(*$^!(^$%(*!is wrong with you please why god, why!

Showing 1-12 of 12 comments

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