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Games that would make 'amazing' low budget sci-fi shows

Red Faction might be getting turned into a TV show. Which almost certainly means we'll soon be seeing a space opera made on a shoestring budget filled with Z-listers, using paper mache aliens as extras. Even if the show does get mega money chucked at it, with James Cameron attached to direct, it got us thinking about other games that would make awesome low budget sci-fi shows. So we knocked up a few in Photoshop for any interested studio execs.


Mass Effect: With a Vengeance

Starring Luke 'F*ck-you-if-you-thought-my-career-was-dead' Perry, the woman 'who's name-we-cant-remember-but-played-Seven-of-Nine-in-Star-Trek' and some dude in a cheap alien suit, HBO:Straight to Video Productions is proud to present the television event of the space-time continuum. Based on the popular video game, the TV series will deal with Shepard's eternal battle with his hair product... and probably some shit about aliens or something. Oh, and it's definitely not filmed in a car park with a dodge ball hanging on a string being passed off as an alien planet in the background.


Fallout: A Father's Tale

Featuring Liam Neeson's one-eyed second cousin in a breakthrough role, comes the story of what the Vault Dweller's dad did during all those long, lonely years on the road. In what critics are calling 'a only partially f*cking dreadful performance', viewers will see Neeson battle space mutants (if we can knock a few cheap costumes together). Get the chance to  follow the search for his son. And they'll even get to see him grapple with crippling bowel diseases, as he drinks loads of toxic water.


Half-Life: The Radiation Years

It's the comeback Honey I Shrunk the Kids fans have been waiting for, as Rick Moranis makes his eagerly awaited return. Joined by a stellar cast, including Brent Spiner (who's definitely not playing the same part as in Independence Day), the show will follow Freeman's desperate struggle for justice, peace and the love of a good woman. But... eh, seeing as we couldn't afford to build a giant robot for DOG, viewers will have to make do with an actual dog. Yeah, and it's definitely not being filmed in the same car park as Mass Effect, either.


Sexy Halo Wars

Andromeda's Kevin Sorbo joins an award-winning ensemble, as he takes the fight to the Covenant and under-sexed housewives all across the galaxy. With that 'kinda-hot-ten-years-ago' women from Stargate, you'll get a whole new look at the Chief... mainly around the crotch area. Will he conquer his ultimate nemesis (a Brute played by that albino gorilla you've seen on Google images)? You'll have to tune in at sex... eh, six o'clock Sunday evening to find out.


Earthworm Jim's Space Countryside Adventures

Shot on a modest budget, this ambitious student project has been given the green light. And will soon appear on a crappy cable channel at four in the morning for all unemployed, sexless men to enjoy. Using cutting edge special effects (that are almost positively not an actual worm with googly eyes taped to it), the series is set to break new ground in the sci-fi genre. Will Jim get the girl? Will he defeat his evil bovine nemesis? Will the sticky tape on his eyes hold out for 22 mins? All these questions will be answered soon.

Apr 27, 2010


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16 comments

  • CuddlyBomber - April 28, 2010 10:34 p.m.

    @Apollomon I'm going to have to disagree with there buddy. Amanda Tapping will always be the hottest to me.
  • philipshaw - April 28, 2010 12:59 p.m.

    I would love to see some of these happen just for the lols
  • Apollomon - April 28, 2010 8:35 a.m.

    @ventanger Sam Carter is Amanda Tapping- and she's from eseex...no i dont stalk her or anything, i just like stargate :D...Micheal Shanks (Daniel Jackson) is cooler though...i never found amanda tapping THAT hot though...she's alright, but Jewel Staite in Atlantis is hotter
  • Cyberninja - April 28, 2010 12:06 a.m.

    when do they start?
  • Doctalen - April 27, 2010 10:12 p.m.

    Awesome, I laughed when I read the Mass Effect: With a Vengeance one. You're right, the Seven-of-Nine lady would make an awesome Miranda.
  • Metroidhunter32 - April 27, 2010 9:21 p.m.

    "who is definantly not playing the same role from indepence day" By refrencing a moive I love, you just made my day.
  • 510BrotherPanda - April 27, 2010 8:39 p.m.

    The "Star Trek Chick" is Jeri Ryan. I was watching Star Trek Voyager last month for some reason. There use to be a Earthworm Jim cartoon in the 90's/ early 00's too.
  • Nin10DOH - April 27, 2010 8:34 p.m.

    Haha Rick Moranis is amazing
  • Xeacons - April 27, 2010 5:47 p.m.

    Moranis ain't comin' back and I can't say I blame him. I wouldn't, always being type-cast as the dork. Not nerd, dork. Nerds are cool; dorks just don't get it. Poor Rick. I certainly wouldn't want to be in his shoes. He just wouldn't fit for Gordon. We need someone new and fresh (Gordon's 27, for godsakes), no one over 35. A gamer who knows and understands HL. Geeky, yet tough: McGyver-ish. And DOG would be CGI, duh.
  • krabsich - April 27, 2010 5:03 p.m.

    i wish my last name was sexington. @Mysticgamer: that cartoon was great. now i need to find that theme song.
  • sveini22 - April 27, 2010 4:55 p.m.

    Mass Effect: With a Vengeance looks awsome :D
  • Mysticgamer - April 27, 2010 4:51 p.m.

    Does anyone remember the Earthworm Jim cartoon that used to come on?
  • lovinmyps3 - April 27, 2010 4:19 p.m.

    Haha, the Fallout one sounds funny.
  • ThatsWhatSheSaid - April 27, 2010 4 p.m.

    that googley-eyed Earthworm is stellar, i can see Mr Burns's Son selling it to tourists right now.
  • ventanger - April 27, 2010 3:59 p.m.

    Hahah Sam Carter as Cortana... I wonder if I can remember her name without Google.... errr.. DAMMIT I can't.
  • Kenzo - April 27, 2010 3:46 p.m.

    lol, Dark Helmet as freeman. classic

Showing 1-16 of 16 comments

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