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  • Founded by a group of religious cultists who worship an unexploded megaton bomb, who then built their church at the centre of the crater the bomb created.  These Children of Atom believe that the atomic masses released by nuclear bombs contain whole universes and are therefore sacred.

    How about being constantly surrounded by the most upbeat, glass half full folk any of us are ever likely to meet? Full

  • Normally, we’ve got no problem with video game villians. Sure, they nick our bustiest wenches, salute digital democracy with a middle finger, and are inconsiderate enough to make us waste valuable bullets shooting them during a recession. Thing is, they’re always upfront about being assholes, which makes the shit they pull almost endearingly evil. What really gets on our teets, though, are those deceitful dastards who pretend to

  • When he started sharing his idea of an orchestra playing music from videogames, people thought the veteran composer Tommy Tallarico was off his rocker. It took him three years to convince publishers and developers that he was sane. “Imagine me making a call to Taito in Japan, asking them for the rights for the score of [1983 arcade hit] Elevator Action. “I’d like to play the theme tune to the game at the Hollywood Bowl with the Los Angeles Philharmonic. Hello... hello?’”

  • You’re probably kicking yourself for not thinking of it first. Instead of relying on one critic’s point of view, mash them all together into one easily-understood uberscore. Rubbish games will be punished, quality will win out, and the occasional dodgy verdict will be smoothed over by the masses. That’s the theory.

  • Today, we’re taking a timeout to break through the fourth wall of online features about games to highlight the seven worst games set in the worlds of great games. Why? Because these minigames are a special breed of boring. We’re tired of tacked-on gambling activities, awful fictional sports, and stale satires of classic arcade hits that dwell in the bowels of some of the best games ever.

    Why does this happen?

  • “Guns don’t kill people, bullets do.” But do they have to? Not at all, and in fact, this is all the destructive power you’re going to get out of shooting bullets.

  • If imitation is the greatest form of flattery, then the following games are the biggest kiss asses of all time. Whether photocopying the entire structure of a monumental platform game or cloning every character and move from a beloved beat 'em up, these titles have no qualms about knocking-off other developers’ work

    7. Banjo Kazooie

    Ripped off: Super Mario 64

    The photocopied premise: A fat character jumps through portals into a

  • Every single game ever made wants your character dead. Well, unless it’s got dancing babies on its box or it’s trying to lose you weight by forcing you to swing your arms around like a twat. With that in mind, we thought it might be helpful to give you a guide on how to spot impending video game danger. After you’ve brushed up on our exhaustive guide, which covers every sure-fire sign of peril from ominous music to

  • One in five Americans are born with some sort of personality disorder – something that makes them zag when everyone else zigs. It might be as subtle as a nervous tic, as confusing as Asperger's or as overt as psychopathy. But mentally unstable individuals are part of the real world – and part of the world of videogames as well. Sometimes their damage leads them to be horrible, monstrous villains, and other times it can make them loyal friends, or complex protagonists. No matter what it does to them, though, it's usually hard not to be sympathetic to their problems, and to, in a way, fall in love with them... even if they're murdering sociopaths...

  • For the 4th of July, we've decided to celebrate one of our favorite things about the American holiday: grilling. How do we put the spotlight on that? Easy, we raise our glass up to gaming's greatest flamethrowers. Duh...


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