GameCube Features

Deep down, you realize they’re not real. You understand that what you’re seeing on screen is only pixels and polygons, that what you’re talking to is only a voice actor and that what you’re supposedly interacting with is only a fancy collection of programming codes. Sometimes, however, you can’t help but be a little fooled. Especially when you’re a young, dumb, naïve and impressionable kid…

How noble, the human species! Once a year we selflessly take a break from wrapping products in toxic plastics and burning piles of old tires to appease this stupid, stupid planet we live on. How dare it demand more trees, breathable air and animals that don’t choke to death on our trash?

VIDEO: Cameron's classic gets an aural upgrade.

Our long-time readers will remember a weekly column we used to run, a mischievous little scamp known as Trailer Trash, in which we mercilessly heckled the week’s most odious videographic drivel from our haughty tower of jaded idolatry. Because no one demanded it, Trailer Trash is back from the dustbin of obscurity to provoke, titillate and otherwise flaunt convention. Over the weeks ahead, we’ll be evolving the format, but rest assured gentle reader that we shall continually strive to bring you +1 lulz every Thursday

We've killed countless enemies in our time playing games. Thousands. Maybe even millions. We like to think it's because we're full of skill, but the truth is that gaming's grunts just aren't that smart. It's almost like they want to be shot to bits or blown to pieces. So to even things up a bit for the recruits of gaming's axis of evil - whether terrorist, Nazi or hostile alien - here are 10 simple steps to being a better videogame bad

It’s Tax Day. If you’re a part of the working class, you (hopefully) filed your state and federal returns. Kids, never mind what we’re talking about - your parents have filed you as dependents because you’re deadbeats who don’t contribute to your family’s income. We jest!

What do taxes have to do with games? Money is earned  and spent in some of your favorite videogames.

There are enemies that are circular, and there are enemies that aren’t circular. These are the ones that are circular.

Euclidian geometry defines circles as the points on a plane which are the same distance from another point called the center, got it? That’s awesome. There is no geometric definition for enemies, but if there was it would define them as the guys that kill you.

Earlier this year we deduced that Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Eye of the Beholder II – The Legend of Darkmoon is the longest game name out there. Reader comments quickly proved there were a few names out there just as long or even longer, but will you be able to find a name that’s shorter than those on this list?

Collected here are the simplest, monosyllabic game names we could dig up

Death happens a lot in videogames, but for some reason it never seems to stick. From heroes who get infinite do-overs to supporting characters who “die” only to resurface at the nick of time down the road, videogames might be the only medium in which the audience feels surprised, and perhaps even cheated, if a dead character isn’t magically brought back to life.

Sometimes you just know from the moment you get up that it’s going to be a horrible day. On one such day, we followed Paul Ryan around San Francisco with a camera. This is the completely unadulterated video document of what we witnessed.