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Game moments you don't want a loved one walking in on

Shaming you silly in: Fahrenheit

There’s no doubt that Fahrenheit was an innovative game when it was released in 2005. Combining a compelling, believable narrative with some gripping QTE-style cut scenes, it really did feel like an interactive movie. Still, for all of its character nuance and depth it wasn’t above a bit of sexy sex. And the bit where the two main protagonists start to go at it like a couple of drunk, horny teens on prom night is fairly explicit for a videogame.

WARNING: The following scene contains partial nudity. Don't watch if you have an aversion to digital nipples

Above: Here’s the big ‘romantic’ scene. Just like Sixteen Candles, eh? Erm, except with zombie sex instead of candles

What makes it really disturbing, though, is one of the characters, Lucas, is clearly a living corpse by the time they start bumping uglies on the back of a freezing cargo train. Although it’s nothing you won’t have seen in some good old fashioned family softcore, you still wouldn’t want to share it with your nearest and dearest.

Possible excuse: No, it’s not a needless flashing of flesh. The world is about to end, so zombie sex is clearly integral to the plot. They need to respawn the Earth with little undead nippers after all.

Shaming you silly in: GTA IV

Going to a gentleman’s establishment for a private showing in past GTAs was certainly not something you wanted someone walking in on. But, played on a small enough TV, the blurry, low-def graphics might just have seen you get away with it. Unfortunately, the HD era, with its reasonably-priced leviathan LCD screens and crystal clear next-gen graphics, means there’s no hiding those high-def, thong-clad cheeks.

WARNING: The video below features hard-coded women gyrating all sexy and provocative like

Above: The most expensive treatment in the Triangle Club is fine and all. But, for these kinds of prices, would it kill someone to bring us a Sprunk?

The backroom in IV’s Pink Triangle Club even has different levels of service, which include girl-on-girl grotty goings on if Niko’s feeling flush. We’d suggest staying away from the place all together to save any potential embarrassment. How about a nice game of darts instead?

Possible excuse: This is really not what it looks like. I’m actually chasing up a lead. I’m trying to find that special someone. In a, erm…strip club…with a lap dance…in a private room in the back. Look, it’s a legitimate investigation, OK?

Shaming you silly in: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude

Where to start with Larry? There’s an absolute rafter of raunchy escapades you’d never live down if you were caught controlling gaming’s most pronounced perv. Be it panty raids, playing Quarters – where you have to get impressionable girls drunk - or enough sleaze to make even Ron Jeremy blush.

Above: Country legend Willie Nelson is mentioned numerous times in this charming conversation. Must…highlight…penis…innuendo

Steering sperm through ‘hot spots’ while trying to chat girls up has to take the carnal cake, though. And you’d be hard pressed to argue the cultural and artistic merit of games if anyone caught you controlling Larry’s best swimmers.

Possible Excuse: Eh, it’s a clever and ironic take on the post-modern dating scene? Nah, you’re right. I’m just a lonely person.

Shaming you silly in: World of Warcraft

It may be the most popular MMORPG on the planet, holding the Guinness World Record for the most monthly subscribers of any game, but you still don’t want anyone to know you play it. It might be a life-swallowing doze of RPG nirvana, but being caught trying to level up your Draenei at three in the morning is never going to be a proud moment, is it?

Above: The effect prolonged exposure to WOW is having on the innocent youth of today

Possible Excuse: Look this is just as normal as going for a few drinks or a game of pool. I mean, 16 million people can’t be wrong, can they? Can they?!

Now that we've aired some gaming shames, what about the rest of you? Why not share your personal moments of toe-curling gaming embarrassment below?


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71 comments

  • cragnogoo - May 24, 2011 11:39 p.m.

    This wasn't so embarrassing really, but once I showed my mum how you could take a motorbike of the skyscraper in GTA San Andreas and she asked "you know you can't do that in real life right?".
  • Japanaman - May 23, 2011 5:14 p.m.

    You TOTALLY forgot: Playing BMX XXX Playing The Guy Game Playing DOAX 1 or 2 Tugging at womens' chests in Stretch Panic Playing Warioware on Wii Playing DDR with a controller Holding your light gun up to the tube Increasing a woman's chest size in any CAW, CAF, or CAS mode. Playing any kiddie game you can get your hands on for Achievement Points Photographing Rumble Roses chicks Photographing DOA chicks Streaking in Saints Row 2
  • Japanaman - May 23, 2011 5:11 p.m.

    My grandmother saw me playing Smackdown Vs Raw 2006 and wondered why the men were all in their underwear. Needless to say, if started playing as Undertaker a lot.
  • AlbVega - May 23, 2011 5:06 p.m.

    While I also have my GoW experiences, deffinitely Bayonetta takes the cake. Everytime she was stripping and summoning demons, or worse, when that gay theme song was playing (the game is great but, damnit, is that song gay). for some reason my mom, my sister or both just walked into the TV Room.
  • TheItalionStalion - November 12, 2009 5:39 p.m.

    i agree with coolbeans, bordelo in fable should have made the list. my little sister walk in when i went in there
  • mjunkie12 - December 7, 2008 4:44 a.m.

    My embarrassment scene would have to be the Execution in CoD 4. It's not exactly risque for anyone who plays it, but my family is still suspicious of a game where someone gets driven around a city watching people get shot
  • Cernunnos - September 29, 2008 11:18 a.m.

    @iffo: MGS is no cheesier now than before, you've just been wipped... how old are you guys? you let your parents deprive you of your own games? no matter how "wrong" a game is, they are private fraking property! you bend by your parents views of right and wrong?
  • L1GHTN1N - September 29, 2008 12:21 a.m.

    The sex scene in GoW was a great one... had to mess up and run away so my mom didn't see. Also there's one in MGS4 with Johnny in a barrel having some bowel issues, great time for my mom to walk in on. Also my dad still teases me for playing Okami (no idea why) and how I shed a tear at the end of MGS4. Good times...
  • GameGuru95 - September 27, 2008 8:20 p.m.

    First off,YAY first comment on this website :D! Second:I've had A LOT of walk ins.I was bored once playing IV and decided to random get some love from a hooker.So I get one,go to a secluded area,and I decide to get the $70.Then my MOM walks in right when the girl says "Grab my titties now you ****!".I (luckily) convinced her to let me keep it.
  • DisgruntledTable - September 26, 2008 6:09 p.m.

    I'm pretty sure anytime I play Unreal Tournament my mom gets uncomfortable. Especially since I normally have the volume turned up so "DOUBLE KILL", "HEADSHOT", "KILLING SPREE" reverberate around the house. I turned off the cursing, though, so I think that's what saved me.
  • Spybreak8 - September 26, 2008 6:03 a.m.

    Haha yea it always happens when somebody is half naked on the screen. Funny thing is that a survey says that the average MMO player is thinner than the average American.
  • NogginPuncher - September 26, 2008 1:08 a.m.

    Ha, when I got Ninja Gaiden II, I decided to move it to the HDTV in the living room. And then my mom wanted to watch. I no longer own Ninja Gaiden II...
  • GunnyKTrain - September 25, 2008 11:25 p.m.

    what about the end of Finaly Fantasy X? or the death of aerith in VII? definitely don't want any loved ones walking in on you crying like a baby!
  • therealone - September 25, 2008 7:34 p.m.

    san andreas, they curse so much!!!
  • NERDRAGE - September 25, 2008 3:33 p.m.

    me and my mate were on farinhiet and his mum walk in a ran out screaming it took him 5 days to confinse his mum it was not porn lolz
  • Sash - September 25, 2008 8:04 a.m.

    What about the Mass Effect Love scene? Guaranteed for someone to come into the room at that time!
  • J-spit - September 25, 2008 4:37 a.m.

    I was playing ready 2 rumble boxing: round 2 and when the vs screen popped up, my mom noticed Lulu Valentine's erect nipples. I successfully convinced her that I didn't notice. Same game: my stepdad notices Lulu (yeah, she's my favorite) SHAKING her breasts. I almost just stopped playing.
  • Rasy2kG - September 25, 2008 4:34 a.m.

    hahaha, my friend got on "WoW" about 2 years ago...he hasn't been the same since he's not even a cool gamer
  • TheSuburbiaRuins - September 25, 2008 2:04 a.m.

    @Mikel - Thank you much! The sex scene is in the American version, but it doesn't show nip, cause I'd definitely remember that, I have the game.
  • Cel-Shaded - September 24, 2008 11:41 p.m.

    My mom walked in at the end of RE4 when Ashley offers Leon sex.

Showing 1-20 of 71 comments

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