Feed Zac Efron to an alligator

Silent Hill's Heather is... Cameron Diaz. Or an Olsen twin. Or both.
It might have just been the hair, but when we first picked our way through Silent Hill 3, we couldn't help but think its heroine - a teenage girl named Heather - bore a suspicious resemblance to former sex symbol-turned-comic actress Cameron Diaz. When we looked at her more closely, however, her pouty expression and sad, listless eyes reminded us of someone else: anorexic former child star Mary-Kate Olsen.

Then it struck us: Heather looks exactly like what you'd get if Diaz and Olsen somehow had a baby. We admit this might seem to push the "intentional likeness" clause in the article a bit far, but seriously, just look at them. There's a distinct family resemblance. And in a game about misshapen abominations that should never have existed, is it really so unlikely that the developers could have sat down and said, "Hey, let's make the heroine into a creepy amalgam of unnatural creatures, too. Here's a couple of actresses we should consider"?

Well, yeah, it is. But... look at them. And then tell us we're crazy for thinking that.

Mikel Reparaz
After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.