Feed Zac Efron to an alligator

Final Fantasy VII's Barret is... Mr. T
OK, so Barret is missing the Mohawk, the embarrassing numbers of gold chains and the pithy observations about drinking milk and staying in school. He's still clearly based on '80s icon Mr. T, as evidenced by his sour expression, grumpy disposition and soft spot for kids. Granted, Mr. T never had a gun for an arm, but we suspect that's only because he never wanted one. There's also the way the game's American translators seemed to channel Mr. T's raspy patter when they wrote Barret's lines; take a look at the following quotes and imagine them in Mr. T's voice. Feel free to add the words "fool" or "jibba-jabba" afterwards, if that makes it easier:

"When we blow this place, this ain't gonna be nothin' more than a hunka
junk."

"You damn right, you're late!! Come waltzin' in here makin' a big scene!
Shit! Havin' everyone worried like that you don't give a damn 'bout no
one but yourself!"

"Yo!! Get over here, all'ya!! This mission was a success. But don't get
lazy now. The hard part's still to come! Don't y'all be scared of that
explosion! 'Cause the next one's gonna be bigger than that!"

"The hell you so calm about? You bustin' up my rhythm..."

See? It's cut and dry.

Mikel Reparaz
After graduating from college in 2000 with a BA in journalism, I worked for five years as a copy editor, page designer and videogame-review columnist at a couple of mid-sized newspapers you've never heard of. My column eventually got me a freelancing gig with GMR magazine, which folded a few months later. I was hired on full-time by GamesRadar in late 2005, and have since been paid actual money to write silly articles about lovable blobs.