Given the amount of bitching and nit-picking that gamers do about the low quality of Hollywood’s game adaptations, you’d think that we’d be able to put out some good stuff when we have a go ourselves. We play these games. We know these games. We love these games, and we live these games. But while we talk a good fight, more often than not a total lack of respect or comprehension of cinematic construction turns game fan films into the most horrific crimes against the senses imaginable. And given the people who are making them, the deficit in quality is akin to being promised a chocolate-dipped Cameron Diaz for Christmas before being presented with a crack-addled prison trannie as a replacement because the shop was out.
So here we’re going to present the full car-crash gamut of horrors that fan films are capable of. While we’ve covered some accidental disasters before, this time we wanted to show you just how badly things can go even when the director gets what he wants. Some are just bad. Some are bad and mind-twistingly strange. And a couple of them will have you reaching for the sleeping pills long before the end credits. But fear not, we’ve included a few good ones at the end to satiate the pain, and show you just what a wild and varied bunch fan films are. So be brave, grit your teeth, and click on. Uwe Boll might not be that bad a guy after all.
Silent Hill 5: The Game
There are actually quite a lot of Silent Hill fan films sitting around on Youtube, and a fair few of them aren’t bad. A lot of them though, are very bad, and this one might just be the king of that faction. Imagine, if you are willing to go through the pain, Silent Hill in an affluent suburban house. In the middle of the afternoon. With no gore, no lighting, no atmosphere whatsoever, and the use of torches when there’s blatently plenty of daylight streaming in through the windows. Extra failure points for a camera tripod in frame behind the monster, the fat guy playing the nurse, and the greatest bad dialogue exchange we’ve ever heard at around 2:07.