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Rundown: We laughed, we cried and we cheered during this spoof trailer for Mario Kart: The Movie. In the film, Mario is retired from his racing days, only to get pulled back in for one last race. He’s got the skills, but Wario has a few turtle shells and mushrooms hidden up his sleeve. It’s an epic tale of sex, lies, love and betrayal… all in the name of go-kart racing.
Reality Readiness: YES MAKE THIS A MOVIE ALREADY YES YES YES THANKS. Besides, Mario’s already got the whole diva thing down with his own Christian Bale-out.
Rundown: Prankster Remi Gaillard dresses up and decks out his go-kart to hit the streets of what may be some city in France, as Mario. We loved watching him throw banana peels at the confused motorists behind him and pumping his arms to celebrate “winning” the race. At the end, it looks like the authorities detain him, but Remi gets away using his invincibility star.
Reality Readiness: As far as we’re concerned, this guy’s already taken Mario into reality. Although we’re not sure reality, or in this case France, is ready for him yet.
Rundown: You’ve probably all seen this one, but it’s definitely worth a nod. “Blinktwice4y” cleverly weaves Mario Kart tropes into a love song, which is itself pretty catchy.
Reality Readiness: See, Mario Kart isn’t just about getting the blue shell so you can destroy the lead racer, or unlocking Rosalina. It’s a metaphor for love. It’s also a more emo side of the plumber than we’ve seen before, and you know what? We kinda like it. It’s nice to see the human side of our heroes sometimes.
Rundown: We rarely say this, but in this case, the situation demands it: ZOMG!!! It’s a real live Bob-omb!!! Watch as the adorable Bob-omb's fuse burns down, and as his adorable face starts glowing fiery red, and his adorable little body explodes in a burst of searing, burning, yet adorable, agony. Meanwhile, other adorable Bob-ombs look on, pondering the adorably existential explosion that just tore their brother into a million pieces. So cute.
Reality Readiness: We want one. That is all.
Rundown: Wow. Just, wow. Whatever this guy is on, we'll take it. This is 10 minutes of solid-gold insanity, as “thedarkener” theorizes about the connection between Mario and the real world. He begins by talking about the glitch in the first Super Mario game that takes you to the "Negative World". Skipping ahead, you'll get gems of wisdom like, "if you think that you're doing astral travel and you're going places you've never seen before...then it's real. It's amazing, it's crazy," and "I wish that there was a way that I could put my mind into the camera and onto YouTube and show you." At the 4:10 mark, he just sort of stares at you for exactly 20 seconds, which is one of the creepier things we've seen in a while.
Reality Readiness: Mario as the key to astral travel? We’ve heard some crazy theories in our day, but… really? We’re going to go with “not so ready.” Oh, and if you watch the whole thing, you may ask for your 10 minutes back, but don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Rundown: OK, so this one isn’t live action, exactly, but politics are a decidedly real-world issue. What if Mario went Communist on us instead of proudly upholding the virtues of the Mushroom Kingdom? There’d be a lot more blood and Russian men singing triumphantly in the background. Another video also seems to think there's something to the idea that Mario is Communist propaganda. There’s something so right about King Koopa as the sinister "bourgeouise" in a suit and monocle.
Reality Readiness: We kind of want to see our guy try some other political ideologies before we settle on one, like Mario the Enlightened Monarch, or Mario the Libertarian, or even Mario the Anarcho-Syndicalist.
Rundown: Retiring from their adventures in the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Princess Peach go live in the real world to get a fresh start. But boy is this some depressing shit. The Princess is always riding Mario’s broke ass: “You always want to go and play games, Mario! You need to get a real job so we can pay the rent,” she pleads.
Meanwhile, all Mario wants to do is to feed his mushroom addiction. It’s a sad ending to a fairytale story.
Reality Readiness: You might think this proves he’s not ready for reality just yet, but we see great potential here. We’re thinking, “Mario: The After Years,” a chronicling of one man’s harrowing descent into darkness, and the gripping story of how he clawed, nay, plumbed his way back to redemption. It’s dark, it’s gritty, and it’s got 1-up, er, heart.
We almost forgot this one, but here's a classic tribute to brotherly love.
And finally, because the fans demanded it... here's the first episode of There Will Be Brawl:
Jan 7, 2010
Long lost movie games
Classic films totally ready for EPIC game adaptations
Movie directors who seriously should be making games
Forget making Blox go boom; here's what we really want
The 16 most awesomely bad videogame movie moments
Hilariously awful scenes from horribly misguided films
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