Spice World - 1998

Critical shred: “The music is derivative and shallow. The game didn’t have to be.” - The New York Times

The primary reason most of the games here are so laughable is because the bands themselves are shitty, flash-in-the-pan success stories of an embarrassing place and time. That would all change when Peabody Award winning, soul sensations The Spice Girls conquered the medium o’ games. Your task was to prepare the Brat-ified gals for a live television appearance by way of remixing songs and teaching them to dance.

How great was the game? Psygnosis, the folks behind the Wipeout and Lemmings series, considered it their crowning achievement and opted to fold into several other companies and disappear forever a year later. Now that’s going out on a high note.

Make My Video series – 1992

Critical shred: Marky Mark: Make My Video received a 0 out of 10 from Game Informer, a clever trick to keep the game to themselves.

Above: Jesus Christ - Their clothes are backwards!

Mirroring the thought process behind Wii Music, Sega held their technologically superior Sega CD aloft and proclaimed: “Why the hell are we wasting this on games?!” It was decided that the focus on graphics and play should shift to grainy cinematics the size of a postage stamp and filling the screen with menus.

Above: C’mon feel it... please?

Of course, musicians of the day were clamoring to be a part of the inevitable sensation, but Sega wisely chose the cream of the artistic crop. C + C Music Factory, Kris Kross and Marky Mark were the lucky few handpicked to receive the gaming make over. The “player” was tasked with cutting music videos together with ancient visual effects and various other pieces of stock footage that had nothing to do with anything. Think of it like an episode of the Muppet Babies but with vastly inferior music.

Above: Final Cut Hero