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Useless game heroes who couldn’t save the girl

And they lived happily ever aft… oh, she’s dead

Words: Dave Meikleham, GamesRadar UK
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42 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
smallberry  - 24 days 7 minutes ago 
Awww Charlie you beat me to it.

Well there is no love lost for Ashley Williams. She wouldn't put out for my female Shepard anyway.
GameManiac  - 23 days 23 hours ago 
I was just about to play that same exact Comker game (the N64 version, not the remade version)! I was caught off-guard by a spoiler!

Aw who cares!
LOL on the Cloud and Aeris(Aerieth or whatever her mane is).
Seriously people, let it go (only if you want to).
lovinmyps3  - 23 days 22 hours ago 
Love the FF VII one. Made me chuckle. XD
Amatarasu  - 23 days 21 hours ago 
what about that chick from dead rising, not only does she die, she dies because frank bought a zombie infected seinor citizein into the otherwise...well safe safe house, AND she isn't realy dead,just zombified, and guess who kills her,again?
Redeater  - 23 days 21 hours ago 
ff7 should just die
I'm sick of hearing about aeris.....that was over a decade ago people!
Brutus  - 23 days 17 hours ago 
rofl @ cloud!
Cyberninja  - 23 days 15 hours ago 
i think cloud was better tifa anyway
AlexMercer1337  - 23 days 15 hours ago 
I did the deal with Dimitri in GTA 4. I thought it was the bad ending. But wow, Kate would've been a lot worse.
bamb0o-stick  - 23 days 14 hours ago 
AlexMercer: I hate it when games offer you decisions where you are damned no matter what choice you make. The same situation happens in Infamous too, where the villain pulls a Joker on you where you are forced to choose one life over the other.

You really would've chosen Kate over Roman? I got the Kate ending but felt a lot worse after finding out Roman dies from the other choice. Kate I didn't really felt much of a bond over, Roman was a lot more lovable and went we through a lot of shit together.
LeeCarvallo  - 23 days 13 hours ago 
I think this thread is quite sexist actually. Half these women do not actually fit the role of damsel in distress. Meryl, Ada, Berri, and Ashley, were strong characters who knowingly knew that they were facing danger. They should not be considered "girls" whose men needed to save them.
Styrophoamicus  - 23 days 11 hours ago 
I agree with helix92, you should have added Trish. If you're good, she dies and tells you how proud she is. If you're bad, she dies and basically calls you selfish. And (SPOILER) it turns out that Cole from the future made it all happen.

also, I lol'd at the pic of Travis Grady. Silent Hill Photobomb!
MightyCrow  - 23 days 9 hours ago 
don't dis Cloud! FFVII is awesome on PSP (psone classic)
Redeater  - 23 days 7 hours ago 
"Don't dis Cloud"????

Comments like MightyCrow's are the reason why i hate STILL hearing about ff7!
idlemindkiller  - 23 days 5 hours ago 
HAHAHA Cloud sucks!!!!!
Heyexclamationpoint  - 22 days 4 hours ago 
The FF7 entry made me laugh.
doggyystyle  - 21 days 8 hours ago 
nice article!!!
demonslayer76  - 21 days 3 hours ago 
lol conker

one thing you guys left out, Berri was aslo sucked out of the airlock with the ducttapeaphobic professor

also, conker doesnt go back in time, he technicly hacks the game and spawns a katana to kill the alien

a sequal would be nice, i wanna kill more nazi tedy bears and squirel zombies
phgreat1  - 21 days 1 hour ago 
How you imply Solid Snake is a Useless Game Hero.
Paxis  - 20 days 9 minutes ago 
Zack beats Cloud.
gmilf71  - 17 days 18 hours ago 
Didn't niomi kind of deserve it, though?
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