We really scraped the bottom of the barrel to come up with this week’s Trailer Trash. These videos are so terrible that we had to say some bad words, so if you’re easily offended, please move along. There’s nothing to see here…

Party Fun Pirate - WiiWare

Hold still while I poke you with my dagger, mmmkay? This trailer reminds me of a joke I heard in elementary school about taking a turn “in the barrel.”

The titular “fun pirate” seems to rather enjoy getting prodded through the barrel from various angles, but the real clincher is the option to drop a tied-up a Mii into the glory hole. I simply can not believe that this deviant perversity is rated E. “Comic mischief” my ass.

Above: Careful what you wish for 

Above: Ashton Anchors will piss himself when he sees this 

Crime Scene – DS

This trailer is definitely a crime scene, and the victim is good taste. “Fine Comb the crime scene to find evidences!” is detective-talk for, “Rub your stylus all over the screen till you hit the right pixel, you idiotic chimp!” To further reinforce that you’ll spend most of the game using your eye or eyes, look for the eye strategically superimposed on the M in the logo. But why put the eye precisely on the letter M? As a tribute to Hitchcock’s Dial M for Murder?

Or possibly an homage to Fritz Lang’s 1931 expressionist/noir masterpiece M?

Or are my detective skills being clouded by my love for geeky film references? More importantly, who cares when you can use a UV light to discover bodily fluids in the carpet?

Above: All evidences point to a rowdy game of Party Fun Pirate 

Next page: Things that aren’t Starbuck, high-brow scrotal humor