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Top 7... Cutesy Characters We Want to Beat the Crap Out of

Yeah, they're cute, but they're so damn annoying

Words: GamesRadar US

4. Larry Butz, Phoenix Wright series / DS - (AKA “Phoenix Wright’s Dumb Friend,” “Dude with the Hearts in His Eyes,” or “Closet Homosexual”)

Why:
Because we don’t like his face. If that’s not a good enough reason to mull over mauling him with a weed whacker, then we don’t know why you’re reading this article.

Seriously, is that goatee supposed to make him look cool? Somebody please wipe that crooked grin off his face and convince him to stop winking. Even the Judge in Trials & Tribulations can’t stand to look at him:
“…just looking at his picture makes the bile start to rise in my throat.”

But what we really loathe Larry Butz is for dragging down Phoenix Wright’s image. His smug smiling and simpering fanboy-isms border on psycho; and it sickens us to think that our favorite all-star attorney could ever associate with such a large loser as Larry Butz, even if they were only children when the awful associate began.

Oh, and his name sucks, too.

How we’d do it:
Two black eyes and some missing teeth ought to take down his “cute guy” appeal a few pegs. Might not be a bad idea break his kneecaps, either. Then we’ll find out where he lives and burn his house down.


 
19 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Coolbeans69  - 1 year 2 months ago 
lol! Funniest feature yet!
cricket0  - 1 year 2 months ago 
Those characters are kinda nessecary, but as the article says, extremly annoying!
Super_gamer73  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Navi is the most annoying. I like the suggestion for Navi removal.
ryno  - 1 year 3 days ago 
i want Navi's blood. er i mean ectoplasm or whatever shes got.
ryno  - 1 year 3 days ago 
your forgeting Issun from Okami. id feed him to my lizards or stick him in a microwave and turn it on
Cwf2008  - 11 months 17 days ago 
Hmm well i guess the Tinkerbell comparison keeps gamesradar from going too ballistic on Navi, but what i'd do is stick a grenade in wherever Navi talks from, tie it to a missle, set it on fire, and then fire it off a cliif.
Link5794  - 10 months 28 days ago 
What about Omochao from Sonic Heroes? In the tutorial, or the first level of Team Rose that I'm pretty sure people only play bcause they either aren't competent enough to do the higher difficulties or want to get to the final battle and unlock Team Metal Sonic, Omochao stops you so you have to listen to his shit. You could press A, but you stand still after he finishes. Omochao's dealy annoyingness is also demonstrated in the preloader for a Newgrounds anmation. ("Press the A Button to jump!" "Press the Power button to start!" "Use both of your legs to walk!" "Did you know that if you didn't press any buttons you wouldn't move?") Or that dog from Duck Hunt. He laughs at you and you can't shoot him.
Bri77777  - 10 months 24 days ago 
Damn you!. Show the eye gouging!
pjbuhl  - 9 months 18 days ago 
what about the begger lady from assasin's creed she always messes up my missions =/
NullG7  - 7 months 25 days ago 
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Just a little taste from anyone who hasent played Ocarina of time, Oh wait there is more!!!
UsernameAlreadyInUse  - 7 months 22 days ago 
HEY!!!! oh wait you already knew what i was going to say because ive said it 100,000,000,000,000,000,000... times? Oh ill stop....HEY!!! Oh ya...HEYEHEYEHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEYHEY......BOOM HEADSHOT!! What i have always thot the WHOLE TIME
Bov11  - 7 months 20 days ago 
whatserface from King Kong.
melloe  - 6 months 28 days ago 
HAHA I love Pikachu's cheap-ass lightning attacks in Super Smash Bros
Mr.Epic64  - 4 months 5 days ago 
Zelda, you save her in almost every game, but has Link got layed yet? NO.
Pantosniper  - 3 months 28 days ago 
I'd love to beat Tails with a rusty pipe wrench then shove him into a wood chipper then shove what's left of him up a monkey's butt then set the monkey on fire, then throw the ashes off a cliff.
MoonPig  - 2 months 17 days ago 
first, id remove Butz's toinails 1 by 1 with a pair of pliers, then id stick needles in the soft flesh underneath, then id hook them up to a car battery and light his eyelashes on fire and THEN id get NASTY!

also, make Navi die please
MassEffectfan  - 2 months 17 days ago 
all i have to say is damn
evileasterbunny666  - 2 months 16 days ago 
yes yes...... eat that navi REAL good. Look! That frog's tounge getting closer!!!
rangermaster240  - 16 days 19 hours ago 
Why is it that i have ALWAYS wanted to just make a zelda game with microphone ability and just yell at navi, "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!!! I KNOW THAT THE CLOUD OVER DEATH MOUNTAIN IS WEIRD!!!! JUST DIE!!!!"
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