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Top 7... Blue Ball moments

The game may be over, but where's our happy ending?

Words: Shane Patterson, GamesRadar US

2. Link goes back in time - The Ocarina of Time

What happens:
Yes, even the greatest game of all time had one of the biggest pussy partitions as well. Link - the Elvin mute of honorable disposition - defeats Ganondorf after traveling seven years into the future, awakening five sages and claiming the Master Sword. A good deed cannot go unchecked and thusly Zelda whisks Link away to a magical cloud-filled realm, presumably to get busy.


Above: Don’t do it, Link!

Unfortunately, even after saving the mighty kingdom of Hyrule, nice guys finish last. Before Link is about to utter “I want you inside me,” Zelda snatches the ocarina and transports him back in time to live out his youth, without sex and feeling like a douche. Roll credits!


Above: A big tool

Blue Balls:
Say something, Link! Just don’t look at her like an asshole. The ending is criminally unfair and is akin to Zelda kicking Link in the junk for saving the world. At least Tom Hanks wanted to be young again in Big. Link has to spend his whole childhood to reflect how he was this close to banging the resident hottie... nay, royalty. But at least he has some stories to tell if he wants to impress fellow tykes.


 
12 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Bri77777  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Yay! First one!
Dessel_Ordo  - 1 year 16 days ago 
actually, the 11th is "Thou shalt not (rooster)-block thy brother"
"bros before hos" is the 12th
"thou shalt not mess with another mans junk" is the 13th.

sorry, just had to clear that up
marioman50  - 9 months 15 days ago 
Haha,

couldn't help but laugh at the hilarious bitch caption.
Ravenbom  - 9 months 15 days ago 
QFT "What a hilarious bitch"
KillerPotato  - 5 months 20 days ago 
...nice
Skykid  - 5 months 15 days ago 
GR, did you break out the stupid ideas box again? Don't do that, I really hate it when ya do that.
AnonymouZ  - 5 months 11 days ago 
@Skykid

... hahaha! nice one... like the world really cares what a 13yr old KID thinks!
hanky_panky  - 5 months 10 days ago 
awww dont be so harsh to Link... he just thought he wuld get cooties..(hes a kid in a dudes body wat u expect??) but later on he wuld start kicking himself in the junk for ruining his chances.. or maybe he'll go back in time and tell himself to go for it... they can even do wat my name says
reCAPTCHA: snuffers Mass
marsuveeus  - 5 months 10 days ago 
The way that Peach acts in Super Mario Bros. 3 makes you think that she actually does not like Mario, but Bowser! Where did that demented offspring come from any way?
linkganon  - 3 months 25 days ago 
you know, seth macfarlaine, creator of family guy created a mini series called seth macfarlaine's cavalcade of cartoon comedy and one mini episode includes mario saying what he had to do to get to her, he went through 7 castles finding out she's in another castle. search it up on youtube, it's there.
Smeggs  - 3 months 25 days ago 
"I'm sorry but your princess is in another castle...HAHAHA just kidding"
*Punch in the mouth*
"I just fought through an entire continent of dinosaurs, dragons, ghosts and who the hell knows what else to save YOU! I'M GETTING A REWARD!"
PivotPlurals1  - 2 months 19 days ago 
skykid, do you even know what blue balls is?
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