No surprises here. After all, Superman (10,641 words) has been known to survive a nuclear explosion... inside his own ass. And Batman (10,818 words) invented his own damn brand of shark repellent Bat spray!

Obviously, these guys are far superior to the rest of us. End of discussion.

Above: Holy sardine!

Both the fictional Umbrella Corporation and the real world National Human Genome Research Institute study the mysteries of genetics. Both engage in the cutting edge field of biomedical engineering. Both are located in small towns. Both have seemingly harmless, yet somehow creepy names. Both have seemingly vague, yet somehow menacing logos.

Wait a second - are these two organizations actually one and the same?! Has Umbrella been a front all along, a clever ploy to distract us from the true zombie overlords? We knew that tiny word count seemed suspicious...

Above: Oh shit.

According to Wikipedia, Kirby is "a small, pink, spherical creature with large red feet."

Exactly. Done. Enough said. Oh, if only that were the case... instead, that is merely the first sentence of a 1,512 word subsection entitled Characteristics, which goes on to describe - in disturbingly detailed sub-subsections - the Personality, Abilities and Species of Kirby. Yes, species.

The dog has an overall longer page, sure, but the fact that Kirby's "characteristics" actually overcome those of man's best friend is absolutely insane. They shouldn't even be close.