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The very best and worst of games merchandise

Browse 20 items of fancy flash and utter trash gaming gear

Words: Emma Boyes, GamesRadar UK

GAMECOCK SOCK

Why only one sock? Well, we have a creeping suspicion that this particular sock is not supposed to be for one's feet. It might have been all well and good when the fit bodies that are the Red Hot Chili Peppers sported these in a promo for their 1984 debut album, but it generally doesn't have the same affect when members of the gaming establishment try for a similar look. We were already traumatized with the image of Gamecock's Mike Wilson having a wardrobe malfunction at the Funeral for E3 party in 2007, and now we have this image burnt into our mind.

Where'd it come from?: Distributed by Gamecock at various events. Often found littering bedroom floors of game journalists.

VIRTUAL FREE BEER

Mmmm… beer. Lovely, ice-cold beer. It's especially nice when people give you free beer for no reason - it somehow tastes better. But virtual free beer? That's just a bad joke. True, being able to get virtually bladdered in various taverns in Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures for virtually nowt does have some perks - namely when playing the Drunken Brawling mini-game. Simply don the Drinking Cape, and free virtual alcohol will flow. Free virtual beer? We hope it's not a trend - leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. Which we need to wash away with real beer.

Where'd it come from?: Given out in a Funcom newsletter to those who signed up before the game was officially launched and as part of the Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures Collector's Edition.

GTA IV FOAM HAND

A great big blue foam hand that has absolutely no practical use whatsoever. It's for waving at the Liberty City Swingers, an in-game baseball team. However, as a few bemused journalists have already pointed out, the fingers are arranged in the shape of 'The Shocker'. If you don't know what that is, ask your dad.

Where'd it come from?: Handed out to the press by Rockstar.

 

A PLASTIC FINGER

This is truly horrifying, although not in the way that the PRs who sent it out - to promote Clive Barker's Jericho - probably hoped it would be. What if that gunk leaked over our clothes? Is it machine washable? According to the label at the top of the plastic bag, it's Non Toxic, which is something of a relief.

In case it's not evident from the picture, the pink thing in the bottom is supposed to be a severed FINGER, and one can only presume that the black substance is supposed to be blood. Out of the bag and the gunk, it doesn't look much like a finger at all, but then we're not sure what we were expecting.

Where'd it come from?: Sent out as a promo item to hacks pre-Jericho release.


 
30 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
MeesesGlokmah  - 10 months 17 days ago 
I actually wouldn't mind some of those products on the Worst list. The RE4 Aftershave, if anything, has a cool bottle, and the DMC Darts could be fun. That severed finger, though, is just disturbing.
SkullSplitter  - 10 months 17 days ago 
The only thing I want on this list is the sackboy and maybe the Mario mouse.
RonnyLive19881  - 10 months 17 days ago 
I want the Big Daddy, Gears tags and the after shave. I was hoping to see Big Bosses Cigar!
Xplosive59  - 10 months 17 days ago 
wow that resi after shave looks absolute awesomeness...
why didnt you put the lancer on the awesome list... or at all?
ELpork  - 10 months 17 days ago 
Mmmmm, the smell of zombie.
Snarf  - 10 months 17 days ago 
I thought they made Nuka-Cola for Fallout 3 like they did with the GTA4 Pisswasser beer.
GoldenMe  - 10 months 17 days ago 
............Garlic?
flare149  - 10 months 17 days ago 
I love the Safety Deposit box. Yeah it's not a really one, but it still works really well as a good place to hide stuff
PCG_Evan  - 10 months 17 days ago 
Dante darts, haha. Outstanding.

XL-by-default t-shirts deserve some mention here, too.
animeman  - 10 months 17 days ago 
the sackboy looks like the only thing i would buy.
KnightDehumidifier  - 10 months 16 days ago 
If there is one great piece of gaming merchandise worth noting, it's the Heavenly Sword letter opener modeled after the sword in the game. Cool enough to open letters or threaten co-workers.
cped  - 10 months 16 days ago 
i wish the pip-boy worked and the Lancer shoulda been on the awesome list
Sylizar  - 10 months 16 days ago 
I hate Sackboy...
vic88  - 10 months 16 days ago 
well sack boy hates you
kianbung  - 10 months 16 days ago 
the RE4 bottle actually looks pretty cool.

i looked at play-asia - gyakuten saiban playing cards sold out =/
Tomsta666  - 10 months 16 days ago 
I could just go for a nice frosty Pißwasser right about now!!!
CandiedJester  - 10 months 15 days ago 
I thought that blood was a t-shirt at first O.o

And..how did I know know about this Bioshock collectors edition?! D; I might have to pick one of those up >__>
I want big daddy statue..

and I agree with kianbung, the aftershave bottle looks pretty cool. It reminds me of the movies.
foarthelulz  - 10 months 15 days ago 
maro mouse=awesome
foarthelulz  - 10 months 15 days ago 
maro mouse=awesome
foarthelulz  - 10 months 15 days ago 
maro mouse=awesome
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