3. Mascot

You don’t see them very often, but grown adults are in fact paid to walk around in giant game character costumes (though we still aren’t sure if they’re hired contractors, interns or PR specialists being punished). We’ve seen them at a few industry events, at tournaments, and even occasionally in our own office.

Above: Nintendo editor Brett Elston poses with Aiai and Sonic in front of GamesRadar’s giant cookie wall – we don’t know why we have a giant cookie wall either

Looks fun, standing in a costume, hot as hell, pretending to be happy for the enjoyment of a bunch of hyperventilating geeks. We certainly appreciate their dedication to making us squeal with glee, but we wouldn’t want to do it.

2. Executive of a Console Manufacturer or Major Publisher

Make loads of cash, jet around the world and have a major impact on the future of the games industry - what the hell is better than that? Er, what the hell is worse?

Sure, times can be good, like for Satoru Iwata, CEO of Nintendo. But would you really want to be in the shoes of Sony's Kazuo “Riiiiidge Racer” Hirai or Jack "I'll give you $1200 for a PS3" Tretton right now? With stockholders breathing down their necks and constant public scrutiny, everything these industry leaders say and do will be scrutinized, misinterpreted, and lampooned.

It's a hard job, and we don’t envy them. Though we do like to quote them when they say stupid things.