5. PR for Crappy Licensed Games

We can’t imagine that any public relations job is particularly fun, though some seem to enjoy the challenge of convincing us that we should give a rat’s ass about their game and then taking the fall when we call it a complete failure and Photoshop piles of dung over all of the meticulously selected screens they sent us.

What’s even worse is when you have to hawk a game you have absolutely no interest in – and we see it all the time. We even coined the word “unthusiasm” to describe it.

Above: WEE!

Imagine having to spend all day acting like you actually think the shittiest, ugliest games on the planet are the greatest things ever created. Everyone knows they’re just meaningless cash-ins, but you have to pretend you’ve got no idea. That’s "unthusiasm," and it sounds soul crushing.

4. Retail Employee

To be fair, all retail kind of sucks. Most of us have experience behind the register, and few of us speak highly of it. Who likes standing around dealing with idiots all day?

We can’t say for sure that videogame retail is worse than any other type of retail, but certainly have no evidence to indicate that it is better. In 2007 we attempted to uncover the source of the problem by interviewing a group of game store clerks. Here’s a tiny cut of the beef:

“Game store employees are completely expendable. The company knows that there are at least a dozen kids dreaming about working there for every current employee. They don't make the effort to know you, or even back you on anything.  They always assume the worst, whether it comes from another employee, or an outside source. I was fired, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me while I was working there. The store burns you out.  You become bitter towards everything; your days off are generally spent in solitude because you can no longer stand people; and you have no energy to look for another job, even though you're miserable where you're at.”