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The Top 7... Biggest drunks in games

Meet the characters who love to murder the moonshine

Words: Dave Meikleham, GamesRadar UK

Ethan Thomas | Condemned 2: Bloodshot

Contrary to what our parents, doctors and fellow AA members have taught us, drinking can actually be helpful in certain situations. Like, for instance, finding yourself trapped in an evil doll-infested factory or a remote cabin with a grizzly resident who’s more homicidal than your average bear. And what helps Ethan Thomas steady his nerves and actually improve his aim in these situations? His good friend, Mr. Whisky Flask.

Looking at the clean-cut, fresh-faced Agent Thomas of the original Condemned and the bearded, unemployed, hobo-esque shell of man we see in Bloodshot, it’s safe to say the evils of alcohol might have played their part in his downfall. Oh, and all those murderers and monsters might have taken their toll, too. We’ve seen drinking handled in mostly juvenile ways in games – hello GTA drunk driving – but Condemned 2 is one of the few titles to actually show a human being in pain, who seeks solace in the bottle… and by breaking tramps’ necks.

Alco-reading:

Shun Di | The Virtua Fighter series

Now this is what we’re talking about. A drunk so attached to the sauce he can barely get his limbs to function without it. A near cripple when sober, get a few swigs into Shun and he’s transformed into the ultimate ass-kicking herb doctor of Drunken Kung Fu. The only way players can get Shun to succeed is by taking swigs from his bottle to keep the courage up and the Kung Fu flowing.

In a series famed for its split-second timing, masterful blocking and considered combat, it’s nice to see such a realistic portrayal of an elderly Chinese gent who likes to wet his whistle during fights. We love Sega’s attitude towards drinking in brutal battles. Forget it compromising your reach, concentration or speed. In Shun Di’s hands it’s a magical, bout-deciding power up. And, when a character develops an immune system that can not only withstand the amount of liqueur Shun puts away, but actually requires it to move, he simply has to take top spot. Mr Di, we salute your liver-baiting ways.

Alco-reading:

Jan 5, 2009


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29 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Skidd  - 10 months 21 days ago 
A very ''different'' type of top-7.
Conker was always my favourite drunkard in games.
Z-man427  - 10 months 21 days ago 
You can do much better than this
Gahmah  - 10 months 21 days ago 
What about a top 7 most alcoholic games journalists?
CaptainDucktacular  - 10 months 21 days ago 
lol Amy whinehouse. This was pretty weak compared to other lists on the site, but okay. I love drinkin in GTA, especially when my pals get hit by cars lol.
DontPanic  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Nice, can't wait for the Tdar discussion on this one.
CaptainDucktacular  - 10 months 21 days ago 
This wasn't my fav for sure. I think you guys should focus more on gettin the important stuff out there. I also think you should make some sort of article on Call of Duty: World at War stating the top 7 reasons it rocks, cause a lot of people bash it on this site. And I think you should have a list of what you expect from Call of Duty 4 modern warfare 2.
averagejoe  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Wow, really? I'm suprised to hear no mention of the protagonist from Bioshock. That guy hits the sauce hard, you know? And he shakes off two bottles of bourbon in seconds. What a stud. Would you kindly include him next time? :)
heartskuppy  - 10 months 21 days ago 
"more important stuff"? captainducktacular, i think you are on the wrong website.
heartskuppy  - 10 months 21 days ago 
- Comment removed by Moderator
Reported
heartskuppy  - 10 months 21 days ago 
there really needs to be an option to delete comments.
Y2Ken  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Good article. Don't think I'd have put Vlad as the biggest GTA IV drunkard though, and surely your character in Fallout 3 should be there... My guy is currently battling against a craving for some delicious Whiskey...
Gunslinger  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Haha "Amy Winehouse"... England references ftw!
But yeah, excellent list (:
I like these.
How about next time, Top 7 in-game drugs?
...
Actually, I call that. I've already got it done, in my head.
GoldenMe  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Amy "Wine"house, ehl oh ehl.

Still, I'm a bit dissapointed in this Top 7. Gunslinger does have a better idea though.

Better luck next week.
zabu_san  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Ha this is a great top 7!!
My friends both fall into #'s 1 & 2

One is the "Escape From Reality" drunk, this past weekend he was definitely not in normalcy!
My other friend was without a doubt "Can't Make A Move Without a Drink" in more ways than one; He will NOT get on the dance floor without at least 5-6 jagerbombs and countless beers, and as far as talking to anyone, he won't do it unless he's falling over!!
od, I hate being the DD!!
Ah, mermories! Thnx guys!!
Major_Wuss  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Haha, Amy Winehouse.
TheSuburbiaRuins  - 10 months 21 days ago 
Just not really likin this Top..
Just seems kinda thrown together,
Sorry. :/
JoeMasturbaby  - 10 months 21 days ago 
no Bo Ri Cho from the MK series?

his fighting style was "Drunken Fists"
man...
ELpork  - 10 months 21 days ago 
YES SHUN DI!!!!!!!!! MY MAN!!!!!!!!
phoenix_wings  - 10 months 20 days ago 
Good article. It takes some work to figure out the different types of alcoholics in games. This will be one fun AA meeting.
evildevil2  - 10 months 20 days ago 
I always just made shun di go into practice mode and kept pressing the "drink" button till it went to "200 bottles" and.............
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