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The most ridiculous game box quotes ever

Ever wish you could take back something you said? Imagine it printed on millions of game boxes

Words: Tyler Wilde, GamesRadar US

If this game was a turning point for the genre, shouldn't, you know, anyone have heard of it or played it? Let's see what the reviewers thought:

"It has the most idiotic aiming scheme in any WWII game." - Official PlayStation Magazine

"Everything in this title borders on barely functional, from the blurry graphics (no, that isn't Vaseline on your TV screen) to the imprecise targeting." - Game Informer

"...Combat Elite could have been fantastic. But that's just wishful thinking. " - IGN

The Precursor Legacy is a great game, but to say that its world has no peer is to deny that Mario, and every other great platformer, exists.

Really? That might have been true if this game was released in 1970, but I'm pretty sure that in 2004 movie effects looked significantly better than what could be rendered in real-time on a PS2. Just sayin'.


Above: Did Peter Jackson direct this?

Also, a quick side note: I know I've probably done this too, but can writers please stop saying that games "boast" things, and especially that they "boast an array" of things? It's probably one of the most frequently occurring clichés in game writing, just behind "While this game isn't perfect, its flaws are made up for by..." and "If you're a fan of the genre..."

I would be a fool to take a shot at any Tribes game - they were outstanding. Better than Halo, even.

I haven't played one in four years.

If the game is big, and it is full of action, then there must be as much action in it as it is big (the bigger the game is, the more action it would take to fill it up). So we know that the amount of action in the game is dependent on the bigness of the game, but we don't have an objective measurement of the game's bigness, so we don't really know anything. Let's just call it "a hell of a ride" and move on.


 
67 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
RandyChimp  - 1 year 1 month ago 
first!

funny stuff guys! i do hate quotes on game boxes, theyre worse than ones on dvd boxes!
caleb8  - 1 year 1 month ago 
lol nice article tyler!
lava_lamp  - 1 year 1 month ago 
@RandyChimp

Don't u think the joker laughs at u?
TrIp13G  - 1 year 1 month ago 
200.6 is the highest percentage you can get in SoTN. Just sayin'.
Defguru7777  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Good article. Seriously, has GTA really altered the coarse of human history more than us laughing at Jack Thompson's idiocy?
key0blade  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Gee golly, watch out Mario!
GoldenMe  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Hmm, Playstation magazine say "Goodbye Halo!" with a game I never even heard about. Just sayin...

Great Article GR! And Halo rules!!!
AlDim  - 1 year 1 month ago 
"You don't say that you can't see it all, because if you have three save games with 100% completion each, then yes, you've seen it all."

Actually you need 200.6% completeion to "see it all" in Castlevania: SotN. The quote is very much on the spot - the game is huge and even its entire second half is secret.
GamesRadarTylerWilde  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I get that the game has it's own completion system, but I use "100%" in the literal context, not the game's context, to mean "all of the damn thing." My problem with the quote is that the game, which is stored on a disk with finite storage space, is finite, and thus it must be possible to "see it all." That quote is a hyperbole, but not a very good one, because it is easy to prove false...

Ask Mr. Brett Elston, he has most certainly achieved 200.6% completion multiple times. He has literally seen it all.
derringer83  - 1 year 1 month ago 
awesome article, as i was reading it i was thinking to myself, Second Sight wasn't that bad really. But then i got here to dispute it and have realized that, yes it was bad.

but seriously dude... you should refrain from making High School Musical references. It worries me.
Gamer247  - 1 year 1 month ago 
you guys are right!
i hate when people give a game amazing quotes and then a crappy rating!
bron1417  - 1 year 1 month ago 
great article man. i really wish they would STOP putting quotes on the boxes but hey whatever sells games ya know?
slickmcwilly  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i remember 40 winks! i definitely wasn't as good as a mario game, but i had fun
JoeMasturbaby  - 1 year 1 month ago 
"best article of the summer- even of the year!"

-JoeMasturbaby



(i love you, write more!)
blocpartier  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Ah I remember that commercial for 40 winks. All it had was this guy that sprung up in his bed at night and winked 40 times really fast. God I can't believe I remembered that.
kicking222  - 1 year 1 month ago 
On a site that produces a superbly funny article almost every day, this is one of the funniest articles I've read in a long time.
TrIp13G  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Alright, fine Tyler. YOU WIN. You ARE win. I hope you're happy, now. Y'know, I had a feeling I was being too literal. Then I read the other guy who mentioned it after me. Now I feel a little bit better. lol
iluvmyDS  - 1 year 1 month ago 
40...what?
CandiedJester  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Haha! your so awesome Tyler.
This is probably funniest article I've read here so far.

I agree with JoeMasturbaby.
Samael  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Some of the funniest shit I've ever read on this site. You have to do a part 2 article. Please.
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