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The best dead things in videogames

Why should the living get all the attention?

Words: David Houghton, GamesRadar UK

Dead stuff makes a vastly under-rated contribution to the world of videogames. Sure, the heroes are usually a living, breathing, virile lot, with pulses and all that boringly conventional malarky, but dead things bring a much more varied array of coolness to the table. We're not necessarily talking dead characters here. We're not even necessarily talking complete corpses with all the parts. After all, you don't need to be anatomically complete or in a pre-decomposition state to have worth.

With Valve's splendid Left 4 Dead out this week, zombies are of course everywhere right now (seriously, look behind you), so we felt it was about time to shed some limelight on the less obvious members of the living-impaired community; the less traditional, less conventional heartbeat-shy who nontheless bring their own unique brand of festering to the table. Read on, and see if we've included your favourite living-challenged lump of inanimate stuff.

(There may be one or two zombies, but only really cool ones)

Pinata Guy - Manhunt 2

Notable for: Death by hanging just as you reach his cell. Making us curse the lack of a baseball bat on the first level. Mmmm, sugary innards.


Dead birds - Condemned: Criminal Origins

Notable for: Teaching kids that collecting animal corpses is an 'achievement'. Disgusting mothers and ruining carpets worldwide.


Burning cop and Axe-in-the-face woman - Resident Evil 4

Notable for: Making us go "Uurgh!" and "Cool!" at the same time. Confirming British prejudices against mainland Europe.


Decapitated barbarian - Castle Crashers

Notable for: Being dead and cute in equal measure. Proving once and for all that you can get away with any level of gore and dismemberment as long as it's cartoony. If only Manhunt 2 had been cel shaded!


Dangling corpses - Gears of War



Notable for: Giving us a cheap, ghost train scare early in the game. Splattering beautifully when shot. Making us wonder just what the hell's been going on in that prison anyway. Who's running it? Why's it empty apart from Locust and dangling corpses? What the hell kind of correctional institute is it!?


Player-controlled zombies - Metal Slug 3

Notable for: Being soul-destroyingly slow. Obliterating everything on screen with a burst of over-powered blood vomit. On balance, being the best status change in videogame history.


Skeleton - Oblivion

Notable for: Looking like a basic bit of environmental detail until you realise you can use the axe like a golf driver and whack its skull off down the hall. Fore!


 
27 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
hareguu  - 1 year 13 days ago 
FIRST!!!!
oryandymackie  - 1 year 13 days ago 
Btw, "Ake Through The Face Woman"is actually "Pitchfork Through The Face Woman"
And hareguu, not cool anymore. Okay?
Juriasu  - 1 year 13 days ago 
hareguu would fit nicely on this list!
drprofessor  - 1 year 13 days ago 
nice list. love dry bones. and the squishy bits in dead space.
also can you guys run a script to replace the word "FIRST" with "Douchebag"?
AMayer  - 1 year 13 days ago 
Ahh... Good ol' dead stuff. What would we do without ya?
MacGyver1138  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Ahhh. I was hoping that anyone affected by the "Bloody Mess" perk from the Fallout series would be on here.

I am all for drprofessor's idea of replacing any of the "first" posts with something. I personally think that it should say, "I am a douchebag," as opposed to just, "douchebag."
ElectroRush  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Does the name Manny Calavera mean anything to you people?
Elbo444  - 1 year 12 days ago 
but it's so fun being first, you guys have obviously never been first before, cool article
Rainman6952  - 1 year 12 days ago 
yeah!!! cubone god i'm bout to go rock my old Pokemon games now
TrIp13G  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Captain Price. I hope you aren't dead.
Corsair89  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Auron would have been a great addition to the list.
Jorw  - 1 year 12 days ago 
You forgot Manny Calavera and I'm never going to forgive you.
AbleCluster  - 1 year 12 days ago 
Dude, you just gotta love a good video game! Nothing like it!

jess
http://www.anon.cz.tc
Thequestion 121  - 1 year 12 days ago 
I love the dry bones.
EvilZeus  - 1 year 11 days ago 
How does fricken Gears get credit for dangling corpses over Oblivion? WTF? FTW? FTL? I'm highly disappointed.

Ze End.
Moschetto  - 1 year 11 days ago 
+1 for Ace of Spades.
-1 for lack of Manny.
It all evens out.
oreomonkey  - 1 year 11 days ago 
if you replace first with something different they'll just start saying FRIST!!!! OR FISRT!!!
Kattleox  - 1 year 11 days ago 
What about the dead soldiers in The Sorrow's river in MGS3? Or any dead guy you pack into a locker in MGS?

For that matter, What about the Sorrow?
Hurricrane  - 1 year 10 days ago 
ROFL i loved the Tomb Raider drowning video
Defguru7777  - 1 year 10 days ago 
Man, I wish I was dead...wait.
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