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The 10 worst game intros of all time

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The 10 worst game intros of all time

Watch the most awful openings ever without having to play the games

Words: Mikel Reparaz, GamesRadar US

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8. Pocket Racers
2006 | PSP

It's a problem faced by many modern teens: you're partying at a mansion with some friends, getting mad crunk and waving your arms stiffly to some generic techno. Suddenly, an evil wizard shows up and turns you and everyone around you into tiny cars. He does this because he wants to steal your actual cars, which are parked out on the lawn, and slowly load them onto his big rig using a magical tractor beam. He will also force you to watch this in its entirety.

Such is the intro to Pocket Racers, which looks like it was made using The Sims 2, is dialogue-free and sets up a largely plotless game about racing tiny cars around indoor tracks. Yeah, we don't get it either.

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38 Comments

Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First

dougle - 9 months 28 days ago

wtf was that guy on when he did faces of evil?

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alfonso.hdez - 9 months 14 days ago

wow...never heard about last alert, indeed it was pretty stupid!

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alfonso.hdez - 9 months 14 days ago

Until I got to Ikari, now THAT sucks balls big time!

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purple_omlet - 9 months 13 days ago

who gives a shit about corinai? it's hyrule everyone likes. what the hell is with that scroll? do you think it really said "only link can defeat gannon"? i'm pretty sure he was paraphrasing...

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Bri77777 - 9 months 13 days ago

Oh god, i couldn't finish that last video. *crys for an hour*

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octagons - 9 months 13 days ago

Guess what i survived the beepatronic hell. Without skipping ahead and yes the sound was on.

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Revanofsith - 9 months 13 days ago

Hell yeah, I did it! I sat through Ikari. I felt the strong need to bathe and cut my own teeth afterwards, but i did it!

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sepirothpk - 9 months 13 days ago

I sat through it! It was annoying and ten times too long, but I did it. Actually, that's kind of sad...

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Chicago - 9 months 13 days ago

I tore some of my hair out in anger at the faces of evil one, and then completely ripped out the rest after seeing the last one.

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fatcat275 - 9 months 13 days ago

In the pocket racers one, you didnt seem to notice that the wizard apparently stole a baby at the end.

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mrbutlertron - 9 months 13 days ago

I closed my eyes and translated it in my head. Oh how keen it would've been to live in the 1840s! Unless you were Irish... Potato famine.. Very sad.

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fatcat275 - 9 months 13 days ago

I sat through the last video. Side effects of watching ever video in this article include bleeding eyes and ears.

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SirBonkers - 9 months 13 days ago

Very funny stuff....well untel Ikaris that is. You did warn us though. I find it unfathomable that someone thought that was a good idea. WOW! Just plan terible!!!

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Codemunkey117 - 9 months 13 days ago

That...was...TRAGIC.I actually survived Ikari, but can you refund the last 4 mins of my life please? Also, the zelda intro was...hold on *gulp* *uuhhh*...TERRIBLE! Otherwise, funny article.

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DiamondGrip - 9 months 12 days ago

all that came to mind during the Ikari intro was dot dash dash, dash, dot dot dash dot.

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punkmetalmage - 9 months 11 days ago

I expectantly made it through the SNES ikari warriors II intro. Patience is my greatest virtue which really sucks cuz I have to wait on a lot of people, I'm a cashier.

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elric40012 - 9 months 11 days ago

man I... I couldn't, it was too much... horrible!... HOOOORIBBLLEE!! My head seriously hurts after Ikari

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ANBD_Darklight - 9 months 8 days ago

at zelda my mouth was a just hanging there that was insulting to so many things...Link, girls and magic carpets... Ikari was fun i jsut made the beeping into a beat then died inside...I could've played fallout 3 in that 4 minutes

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