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The 10 worst consoles ever

Think the 360/PS3/Wii sucks? These overpriced failures will teach you the true meaning of awful

Words: Mikel Reparaz, GamesRadar US

1. Action Max
Year: 1987

Culprit: Worlds of Wonder

US launch price: $99

What it would cost today: $183.95

Sucks because: This top spot was originally going to go to a used Genesis that one of our editors bought online, only to find out it didn't work right because it was filled to bursting with long-dead cockroaches - but we decided to give it to the Action Max instead. That's how shitty the Action Max is: given the choice, we'd rather play a Genesis full of terrifying bug husks.

The brainchild of Worlds of Wonder - the same people who gave the '80s Teddy Ruxpin and Lazer Tag - the Action Max was basically just a light gun, a box that hooked up to your TV and a handful of VHS tapes masquerading as games. The idea was simple: shoot at a movie, and if you hit the moving, strobe-like "targets" coded into the tape, you'd get points. And, yeah, that's about it.

A whopping five tapes were produced for the system (some say six, but the sixth one's usually listed as "unconfirmed"), and all of them ran about 20 to 30 minutes, featured sub-porn production values and never, ever offered anything new or different on subsequent viewings. For an idea of the incredible awesomeness that awaited Action Max owners, check out these trailers that somehow survived into the digital age:

Above: Spooks! Mechanical Crabs! Lasers! All of them terrible!

Shortly after producing the system, Worlds of Wonder went out of business. Some say the Action Max had little to do with that. We say it was divine retribution.

Best game: Sonic Fury, but only because it came packaged with the system and was therefore the only game you'd never have to go out and attempt to actually buy.

Did we leave out your least favorite console? Want to add some fuel to the fire? Go ahead and vent your spleen in our forums.

Feb 22, 2008


 
25 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
neon6  - 5 months 15 days ago 
MUST...GET...FLCL SHIRT...
BTW, if Nintendo didn't lose Gunpei Yokoi, then maybe they'd have a few more good games seeing how Gunpei Yokoi went on to make the Japan exclusive WonderSwan (sells like Hotcakes).
Ristar200  - 4 months 16 days ago 
The Action Max completely deserves that first place spot... VHS tapes? What were they thinking?!
TheCommunist  - 4 months 16 days ago 
LOLZ! that retarded Legend of Zelda video is the shittiest game I have ever seen...literally the shittiest
Hayroon  - 4 months 16 days ago 
The Zelda CDI games were crap but they did cause some funny youtube poop
Bloodmeta  - 4 months 15 days ago 
Well Gamesradar, You Are Telling The Truth. Plus The N-Gage Kinda Looks Like A Taco On Your Head... WHO WOULD WANT A TACO LOOKING PHONE D:, Plus The CDi Totally Deserves To Be In This List...But The Animation Did Make Hilarious Youtube Poop Videos Like Hayroon Said... So There's The GOOD Side To It XP
joshdaman123  - 4 months 14 days ago 
ZOH EM GEE? no one said first.... my god i can die happy.... >.>.... must find non commented article..

i ashamed of wanting an N-gage so shity
DRILLERDUD  - 4 months 12 days ago 
i got one.....wii
spidermanalf  - 4 months 11 days ago 
You forgot the Commodore and Amstrad consoles!
platamoose  - 4 months 8 days ago 
The Action Max was pretty bad ass, I mean it was bad and it was complete ass.
chainsaw391  - 4 months 3 days ago 
LOL DUDE THAT POPS GHOSTLY RECUE THING OWNZ I WISH I HAD ONE IT WAS RELEASED ReALLY EARLY BUT DID BETER IN GRAPHICS THEN THAT OTHER STUFF I THINK I CAN FIND ONE OF THESE ON EBAY ACTION MAX BEST GRAPHICS EVER REAL HUMANS RUNING FROM GHOST
lorchan  - 3 months 25 days ago 
R.I.P. Gunpei Yokoi ;_;
He would have been so proud of Metroid these days... He never lived to see it go 3D.
(I actually like the Virtual Boy, by the way)
HoudiniWaltz  - 3 months 25 days ago 
Where's the Apple Pippin?
frankmondana  - 3 months 25 days ago 
The Gizmondo was every bit as bad as it's remembered.
The company I work for had the pleasure of doing some PR work for these clowns prior to the release of the steaming brickshit pile.

I was given 3 of these things as well as an unlimited account and all kinds of software and schwag. Very cool right? Benefits of being "on the inside" right?
They were great little machines except for a couple of minor glitches.
-The sound quality for the "phone" was a little worse than 2 cups attached to a string.
-Battery life measured in nanoseconds.
-A screen that was only visible standing under an 32-1/2 foot tall oak tree on July 4th, between 12:01 and 12:09PM while zebras raced by singing "staying alive".
-Games that made me long for Pong as played on a 9" B/W portable TV with a scratched screen.
-The "keyboard" had the tactile feedback and accuracy as a dead hissing cockroach laying on a pile of pigeon shit.
-The only screen ever made that would get 1/8" deep scratches while stored in a vacuum chamber.

2 months later I couldn't give these things away. I still have them although I parted out 1 of them to use for a FIRST Robot. This was the only time the hardware from these shitpiles worked.

These guys never intended for this thing to be real. It was a scam from the start.
Even their final checks (accounting for 80% of the contract total) bounced 2 days after the project ended and we didn't hear from them again.
We did think the crash was hysterical (except for trashing a beautiful car that I got to drive once after a meeting)although it would have much funnier if they became paraplegics relying on machines to keep them alive.
Machines run, of course, with Gizmondos.

Good thing I never hold a grudge.
frankmondana  - 3 months 25 days ago 
Oh wait, I forgot a few things-
-The PC boards were assembled by 4 year-old Indonesian kids with ADHD.
- Common components (resistors, capacitors, etc) would change from 1 unit to another because they were bought from surplus dealers.

-The unit never had proper UL or ETL listing. They sent a few units that were well built to the labs. They passed but were required to change a few things. They then built a few more that passed but the production units were built as described above.

OK, I'm done.
InstantThreat  - 3 months 15 days ago 
I LOVE MECHANICAL CRABS!!!x]
nightrider  - 3 months 14 days ago 
what in the world is this
Fionachitauro  - 3 months 13 days ago 
Graphics are AMAZING. GTA4 graphics are shit compared to these =D
Blackbird  - 3 months 5 days ago 
Aaaah... Ahhh... my brain actually hurts... AaaaAAAahh!
Nintendroid426  - 3 months 5 days ago 
here is one: PS3.
games are good (compared to wii)but are and were in low quantity at launch and today, no one needs blue ray, 600 dollar launch price? are u effen kidding me? why have online and music when i can have my computer go online and listen to music on my ipod????
seifer93  - 3 months 3 days ago 
I honestly think that the GameGear deserved an honorable mention in this list. It had all the graphics of the Sega Genesis in a handheld machine only 3/4ths the size of the Genesis!
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