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The 10 worst consoles ever

Think the 360/PS3/Wii sucks? These overpriced failures will teach you the true meaning of awful

Words: Mikel Reparaz, GamesRadar US

9. 32X

Year: 1994

Culprit: Sega

US launch price: $159.99

What it would cost today: $227.87

Sucks because: In theory, the 32X was a hardware upgrade that would propel the underpowered Genesis past its competition and give its owners a relatively cheap way to enter the 32-bit era. In practice, however, it was a stopgap system that would be thrown under the bus when the Sega Saturn came out six months later, and everyone seemed to know it except for die-hard Sega fans and the company itself.

An attachment to the Genesis that plugged into the console's cartridge slot, the 32X offered significant improvements over the aging Genesis, updating the console's crummy graphics and sound and delivering a few awesome games in the process. Unfortunately, not a lot of games actually took advantage of that, and the bulk of 32X games ended up looking like Genesis or Sega CD games with slightly nicer color palettes. On top of that, the 32X didn't work on all Genesis models, and even had incompatibility problems with certain TVs.

Above: In case you were wondering, this is where some of Sonic's asinine menagerie of sidekicks got their start. BOOOOOOOOO!

Ultimately, the 32X was the product of boneheaded short-sightedness: its existence put Sega into competition with itself once the Saturn rolled out, and developers - not wanting to waste time on a technological dead-end - abandoned the 32X in droves. Gamers quickly followed suit, turning what was once a promising idea into an embarrassing footnote in console history, as well as an object lesson in why console makers shouldn't split their user base with pricey add-ons.

Best game: Knuckles Chaotix

 8. 3DO Interactive Multiplayer

Year: 1993

Culprit: Panasonic

US launch price: $699.99

What it would cost today: $1,022.52

Sucks because: Like the Philips CD-I before it, the 3DO was a prohibitively priced, CD-based "interactive multimedia" player that couldn't really decide if it was a game machine or an exciting new way to watch awful interactive movies. Unlike the CD-I, however, it actually had a few decent games behind it, including excellent versions of Super Street Fighter II Turbo and Samurai Shodown, as well as legendary PC game Star Control II.

Above: Seriously, this game rocks. You should totally go play it right now

Decent titles or not, though, the 3DO was a sluggish, overpriced lump of hubris with a software library overflowing with games that were either built around full-motion video, or that weren't much more impressive than what was already available on cheaper, less powerful consoles.

Nevertheless, the 3DO mysteriously clung to life as a "high-end media system" until the mid-'90s, when the advent of more powerful 32-bit systems finally convinced its makers to lower its ridiculous price a little. But it was too little, and too late, and the 3DO quickly joined the growing trash heap of multimedia abortions steamrolled by Sony, Sega and Nintendo.

Best game: Star Control II, which you can download and play for free here.


 
25 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
neon6  - 5 months 15 days ago 
MUST...GET...FLCL SHIRT...
BTW, if Nintendo didn't lose Gunpei Yokoi, then maybe they'd have a few more good games seeing how Gunpei Yokoi went on to make the Japan exclusive WonderSwan (sells like Hotcakes).
Ristar200  - 4 months 16 days ago 
The Action Max completely deserves that first place spot... VHS tapes? What were they thinking?!
TheCommunist  - 4 months 16 days ago 
LOLZ! that retarded Legend of Zelda video is the shittiest game I have ever seen...literally the shittiest
Hayroon  - 4 months 15 days ago 
The Zelda CDI games were crap but they did cause some funny youtube poop
Bloodmeta  - 4 months 15 days ago 
Well Gamesradar, You Are Telling The Truth. Plus The N-Gage Kinda Looks Like A Taco On Your Head... WHO WOULD WANT A TACO LOOKING PHONE D:, Plus The CDi Totally Deserves To Be In This List...But The Animation Did Make Hilarious Youtube Poop Videos Like Hayroon Said... So There's The GOOD Side To It XP
joshdaman123  - 4 months 14 days ago 
ZOH EM GEE? no one said first.... my god i can die happy.... >.>.... must find non commented article..

i ashamed of wanting an N-gage so shity
DRILLERDUD  - 4 months 12 days ago 
i got one.....wii
spidermanalf  - 4 months 11 days ago 
You forgot the Commodore and Amstrad consoles!
platamoose  - 4 months 8 days ago 
The Action Max was pretty bad ass, I mean it was bad and it was complete ass.
chainsaw391  - 4 months 3 days ago 
LOL DUDE THAT POPS GHOSTLY RECUE THING OWNZ I WISH I HAD ONE IT WAS RELEASED ReALLY EARLY BUT DID BETER IN GRAPHICS THEN THAT OTHER STUFF I THINK I CAN FIND ONE OF THESE ON EBAY ACTION MAX BEST GRAPHICS EVER REAL HUMANS RUNING FROM GHOST
lorchan  - 3 months 25 days ago 
R.I.P. Gunpei Yokoi ;_;
He would have been so proud of Metroid these days... He never lived to see it go 3D.
(I actually like the Virtual Boy, by the way)
HoudiniWaltz  - 3 months 25 days ago 
Where's the Apple Pippin?
frankmondana  - 3 months 25 days ago 
The Gizmondo was every bit as bad as it's remembered.
The company I work for had the pleasure of doing some PR work for these clowns prior to the release of the steaming brickshit pile.

I was given 3 of these things as well as an unlimited account and all kinds of software and schwag. Very cool right? Benefits of being "on the inside" right?
They were great little machines except for a couple of minor glitches.
-The sound quality for the "phone" was a little worse than 2 cups attached to a string.
-Battery life measured in nanoseconds.
-A screen that was only visible standing under an 32-1/2 foot tall oak tree on July 4th, between 12:01 and 12:09PM while zebras raced by singing "staying alive".
-Games that made me long for Pong as played on a 9" B/W portable TV with a scratched screen.
-The "keyboard" had the tactile feedback and accuracy as a dead hissing cockroach laying on a pile of pigeon shit.
-The only screen ever made that would get 1/8" deep scratches while stored in a vacuum chamber.

2 months later I couldn't give these things away. I still have them although I parted out 1 of them to use for a FIRST Robot. This was the only time the hardware from these shitpiles worked.

These guys never intended for this thing to be real. It was a scam from the start.
Even their final checks (accounting for 80% of the contract total) bounced 2 days after the project ended and we didn't hear from them again.
We did think the crash was hysterical (except for trashing a beautiful car that I got to drive once after a meeting)although it would have much funnier if they became paraplegics relying on machines to keep them alive.
Machines run, of course, with Gizmondos.

Good thing I never hold a grudge.
frankmondana  - 3 months 25 days ago 
Oh wait, I forgot a few things-
-The PC boards were assembled by 4 year-old Indonesian kids with ADHD.
- Common components (resistors, capacitors, etc) would change from 1 unit to another because they were bought from surplus dealers.

-The unit never had proper UL or ETL listing. They sent a few units that were well built to the labs. They passed but were required to change a few things. They then built a few more that passed but the production units were built as described above.

OK, I'm done.
InstantThreat  - 3 months 15 days ago 
I LOVE MECHANICAL CRABS!!!x]
nightrider  - 3 months 14 days ago 
what in the world is this
Fionachitauro  - 3 months 13 days ago 
Graphics are AMAZING. GTA4 graphics are shit compared to these =D
Blackbird  - 3 months 5 days ago 
Aaaah... Ahhh... my brain actually hurts... AaaaAAAahh!
Nintendroid426  - 3 months 5 days ago 
here is one: PS3.
games are good (compared to wii)but are and were in low quantity at launch and today, no one needs blue ray, 600 dollar launch price? are u effen kidding me? why have online and music when i can have my computer go online and listen to music on my ipod????
seifer93  - 3 months 3 days ago 
I honestly think that the GameGear deserved an honorable mention in this list. It had all the graphics of the Sega Genesis in a handheld machine only 3/4ths the size of the Genesis!
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