Towelie
Episode 508
Original Airdate: August 8, 2001
Watch the full episode free

 The episode starts innocently enough. Cartman turns up a bloody tampoon in the bathroom, forcing Stan's mother to buy the guys a 2001 Okama Gamesphere to avoid any further questions pertaining to the feminine reproductive cycle. Happened to all of us, right? But as the boys retreat into blissful bouts of Gamesphere exclusive, Thirst for Blood, a talking towel shows up out of nowhere to sling water-based cliches and offer marijuana. Needless to say the boys could care less about Towelie, desiring nothing more than to lose themselves in their new console for days at a time.



Unfortunately, the kids are eventually forced to go back to school, leaving their Gamesphere vulnerable to a kidnapping. The boys' brief meeting with the ultimate two dimensional character lands them in a twisted plot involving resistance groups, aliens and a tyrannical corporation hell bent on towel gene manipulation (TNA). Along with Towelie, Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Kenny straight-facedly airdrop into heavily fortified complexes, ignore violent flare ups and reluctantly uncover secrets that could destroy both humanity and the garment industry. All the while, treating the adventure of a lifetime with the same begrudged enthusiasm usually reserved for picking out new school clothes.

It's not uncommon for new game consoles to have just such an effect on people. Often times, social obligations fall by the wayside and relations with once cherished pets become damaged irreparably. You probably know someone who has forged some abnormal, fanboy fetish on their new consoles. Perhaps that's what the creators were getting at with yet another hidden meaning: in certain older Asian cultures "okama" is a pejorative term for homosexuality. Oh, you rascaly writers.

Go God, Go and Go God, Go XII
Episodes 1012 and 1013
Original Airdates: November 1, 2006 and November 8, 2006
Watch the entire two-part episode here and here

 

Airing scant weeks before the Nintendo's console rocked a nation of faces, we find Cartman can contain his anticipation for the Wii no longer. So in a feat of unmitigated reasoning he makes the logical decision to freeze himself for a few weeks, until he can finally wave his new fangled motion controls unimpeded. Due to a minor miscalculation, he overshoots his goal by a few hundred years and is revived in a future were the Wii is a forgotten relic and cock-shaped hats are all the rage. Whoopsey daisy.



A debate over religion in the present lands future Cartman in a battle over atheist supremacy. Back in 2006, Mr./Mrs. Garrison's supremely unsettling relationship with notorious non-believer, Richard Dawkins opens the door to our worst fears: a legion of hyper evolved, power hungry otters who threaten to crush human skulls like "a clam on my tummy." Frightening.

 
Above: Humanity's last stand will be adorable

It's not like we don't empathize with Cartman's youthful impatience. Brett Elston's headline perfectly encapsulates the feeling of giddy, juvenile wonderment that swept our offices when the Wii was first unveiled. But there's a part of us that wishes we could travel back in time to tell Cartman that he may want to stay in suspended animation a little longer if he wants to play anything other than waggle ports and minigames.

 
Above: All that for Wii Music and Deca Sports?

Either way, this two-parter was one of the most elaborately animated South Parks to date, and Nintendo loved the episode so much that a poll on their official website asking people how badly they wanted a Wii had a "Worse than Cartman" option.

Best Friends Forever
Episode 904
Original Airdate: March 30, 2005
Watch the full episode free

 

Contrary to whatever we may claim during times of unbridled glee, no game system is worth dying for. And who'da thunk that of all consoles, the PSP would be the one to require professional corpse, Kenny McCormick to make the ultimate sacrifice? It seems the angels above sent down the launch title, Heaven vs. Hell, as recruitment tool to root out the perfect battle tactician to wage holy war upon Satan's evil underworld forces. And as luck would have it, Kenny's proficiency with Sony's portable won him the coveted spot of Heaven's very own "Keanu Reeves."



But this is South Park, and even something as simple as biblical warfare could never go that smoothly. Well meaning doctors revive the Boy in Orange and hook him up to a feeding tube, effectively barring him from tending to his goodly destiny, thus potentially dooming the realm of Heaven for all eternity. Friends and family square off on the "right to life" issue, and a media controversy ensues as they are wont to do. Stan and Kyle desperately want to see their buddy pull through, while Cartman goes so far as to plead to Congress to pull the plug for the sole intent of getting his tubby mitts on the “left behind” PSP.

 

We'll refrain from espousing our own opinions on vegetables and the people who love them, since eschewing the Terry Schiavo debacle is just one of the many reasons "Best Friends Forever" is one of our favorite episodes. Jam packed with with references to Lord of the Rings, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, and of course, The Last Starfighter, the episode has a timeless quality beyond its topicality. Not only is "Best Friends Forever" a consistent fan favorite, the episode also won the show its first Emmy for Outstanding Animated Series.

 
Above: Clusterbombs, Kenny! Clusterbombs