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SkeleTONS: nearly every bony bastard in the gaming universe

A pictorial history of our skinless friends, from NES to PS3

Words: Brett Elston, GamesRadar US


 

Human-sized skeletons aren’t enough for the evil bandits of Neverwinter Nights – no, theirs must be the size of buildings and hang ominously over their dark and drab entryways. That’s all well and good, but uh, do they have humans that big or did someone spend an awful lot of time constructing a fake skull and arms?


 

More Castlevania, but now with DS-powered sprite capabilities that throw wave after wave of calcium-rich combatants your way. They’re so confident in their prowess they’ve even named these particular skelleys “Frisky.”


 

This is without a doubt the most embarrassing blow to human/skeleton relations. These two were minding their own business, probably talking about bones or something, when a quartet of roided-out maniacs came stomping in and making outrageous demands. Dear god leave them alone!


 

This shot proves two things. 1) PlayStation 1 games age like shit, and 2) Chrono Cross’s designers ran out of decent ideas about 30 characters into their 45 character roster.


Hoo boy, Killer Instinct. Think Rare will bother bringing it back after a 12 year hiatus? And if so, will Spinal make the cut? These are the questions GamesRadar is brave enough to ignore.


 

Somewhere deep beneath the part of the Earth that matters lay these two boney horse monsters that crush rival raider Pierre Dupont into dust. Dead dust.


 

TimeSplitters 2 is one of the few amazing FPSs fro GameCube, so please, please check it out it if you haven’t already. Oh wait, what’s that? Last gen games age like rotten fruit smothered in vulture shit? Hm. Maybe just wait for an inevitable remake.


There, happy? Of course we wouldn’t forget Manny, perhaps the most well known dead guy among PC adventure game nerds. That’s literally dozens of people who know him on sight!

We kid, we kid. Good stuff, Shafer. Now make Brutal Legend rock.




The multiplayer-minded Quake III introduced a vast number or poorly designed and immediately forgettable avatars, including Mr. No Name up there and several other sort-of-skeletal options.


Okay... we’re not sure what this is, but it has boobs and a clearly visible rib cage. Nightmarish indeed.


In a list of out-there skeletons, the Undead Hero still manages to stand high above the rest. C’mon, he’s wearing a suit of golden armor! 


 
43 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
FierceDeity  - 1 year 25 days ago 
first
stalfos ftw
Tasty_Pasta  - 1 year 25 days ago 
Lol @ Chrono Cross! Skelly was my favorite character in that game :D
smallberry  - 1 year 25 days ago 
WooHoooo Manny Calavera! *cough*PC adventure game*cough*

Anyway great article. Can't wait for T-Dar episode 25!
skyguy343  - 1 year 25 days ago 
was waiting for Mega Man 4

btw : fartbonerlol, didnt see THAT coming(sarcastically)
Basketcase676  - 1 year 25 days ago 
Guitar hero series? Grim Reaper lol

Bano-tooie, Grunty was a bag of bones in that :P

Sorry, just needed to say those...ill be off now.
x_Flib_x  - 1 year 25 days ago 
WHATEVER YOU SAY TIMESPLITTERS 2 IS ABSOLUTELY AWESOME!!!
GoldenMe  - 1 year 25 days ago 
Shizcakes, that's a lot of skeletons.

I happen to remember Lost Vikings the most. By god that was an awesome game.

Great Article GR!
rickrossthaboss  - 1 year 25 days ago 
umm dry bones anyone?
TrIp13G  - 1 year 25 days ago 
When I was younger, the only thing I remember about playing Uninvited is the ghost killing me.
Oh, and nice coverage of the CV skeletons. Classic.
Wizrai  - 1 year 25 days ago 
No Devil May Cry-ish skeleton?
ElkRider1  - 1 year 24 days ago 
You missed out Murray, from the Monkey Island franchise! How could you?
lava_lamp  - 1 year 24 days ago 
i wish i could get my hands on a copy of grim fandango i loved pyschonauts and i want to play Shaffer's other games now. (cant wait for brutal legend)
vincenzo  - 1 year 24 days ago 
No Maximo? or was i the only one that played that game...
drprofessor  - 1 year 24 days ago 
Nice list. I played Astyanax and have a vague ability to say it properly lol. Was also fun identifying all those street fighter characters by there posture and skeleton.
GamesRadarBrettElston  - 1 year 24 days ago 
@ ElkRider1

Murray is just a floating skull from what I remember. This was full skeletons. However, I do indeed now have a folder full of skulls for another day...
Ravenbom  - 1 year 24 days ago 
Wow! Holy complete complete list Batman! Or Brettman, if you will...
And people say that Americans are just getting fatter year by year. Clearly they all have eating disorders, and are trying to make up for their inadequacies by attacking other sprites.
Defguru7777  - 1 year 24 days ago 
I love the Bowser skeleton from New Super Mario Bros.
Defguru7777  - 1 year 24 days ago 
I love the Bowser skeleton from New Super Mario Bros.
oreomonkey  - 1 year 24 days ago 
sıɥʇ ǝʞıן ǝɯosǝʍɐ ɯı ƃɯo
oreomonkey  - 1 year 24 days ago 
wow.... that was not supposed to say that
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