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RPG Emo-Off

From sighing to suicide – which JRPG character out-emos them all?

Words: AJ Glasser, GamesRadar US

You know the type: spiky hair, sad eyes, too many belt buckles in his ensemble to count. You might meet one or two of these guys in fighting games, or starring in a Prince of Persia sequel; more often than not, you’ll see them wangsting their hearts out in a sprawling Japanese RPG epic. 


Above: Take your pick, they’re all the same 

Why so emo? There are tons of excuses, such as “My girlfriend/wife/child/puppy died,” or “My village burned/sunk/froze,” and let’s not forget “I can’t find the door to this world... or my heart.”

But who is the most emo? Who has the most cause to mope around in a huge trench coat, muttering to himself and sighing compulsively? Read on as we pair off the angstiest, whiniest, saddest boys and girls of JPRGs and find out which one trumps them all.

Warning! Spoilers for the following…
Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy IX, Final Fantasy X-2, Eternal Sonata, Final Fantasy VIII, Kingdom Hearts, Tales of Vesperia, Tales of Symphonia, Lost Odyssey, Persona 3


Games: Final Fantasy VII & Final Fantasy VIII

You knew this day would come. Two of Square Enix’s heavy-hitters in the heartbreak department meet to compare tales of woe. Here’s how they stack up:

 

 

Squall

Above: (Am I… alone?)

Cloud

Above: What about my pain?

Winner: Cloud – because you can’t top a dead girlfriend.


 
45 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Skellington  - 1 year 1 month ago 
YAY FIRST EMO-NES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
emoemoemoemo
Levy  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Great Article!!! I loved it!!!! America needs at least one Emo protagonist.....
Z-man427  - 1 year 1 month ago 
and emo protagonists matter because?
GoldenMe  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Gah! Too much emo! Need...country music.... to replinish... non-emoness!

Great Article GR!!!
iluvmyDS  - 1 year 1 month ago 
My friend doesn't like this article. Then again he's a rabid FF7 fanboy.
octagons  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I really hate it when characters are supposed to be mature but they are really just emo. the same goes for game plots.
lava_lamp  - 1 year 1 month ago 
emo kids and rpgs two of the worst things ever
Christrigg1  - 1 year 1 month ago 
emo supremo ftw! im not emo, i just felt like saying that. it sounds like a great burger king burger. "ill have the emo supremo with a side of fries and adr. pepper" awesome.....

NICE VID GR!!!
Christrigg1  - 1 year 1 month ago 
well, not a vid, but its a great report for sure. awesome!
noofer7  - 1 year 1 month ago 
well im a constantly depressed 8th grader, so i can relate to this...
not actually emo though.
ZellieKinneas  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Of course Cloud wins. You can't win an emo contest if you're not emo. And Squall is definitely not emo. He's just introverted, to put it briefly.
jonathan13k  - 1 year 1 month ago 
im emo
Biohazard82493  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i hate emos they are like a plague long live metal!!!
BlackKraken  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Whats actually the difference between being depressed and being an emo?
Weasel  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Maybe that's why these games always feel unfinished somehow, they're so emo they cut themselves *ducks*
Dameon Angell  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Haha Gackt with the come from behind victory!
zeldafanjohn  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Oh come on!
Neku isn't in this?
What the fuck?
MissWhipKat  - 1 year 1 month ago 
What, no Roxas?
REALLY?
Comatose92  - 1 year 1 month ago 
lol, "and the winner is... Clou-! Wait, scratch that. Genesis!"

Cloud: "WTF?"
Comatose92  - 1 year 1 month ago 
lol, "and the winner is... Clou-! Wait, scratch that. Genesis!"

Cloud: "WTF?"
Related Games
Eternal Sonata
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Lost Odyssey
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