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How to Survive a Zombie Invasion
Do you like being dead? If your answer is "no," read this NOW
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125 Comments
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speno93
- 4 months 12 days ago
lawnmowers are also good, now excuse me as a zombie is putting its hand through my window and it is rather hard trying to dodge its rotted flesh and dirty, overgrown claws and trying to type at the same time.
BLAM!!!!! oh great! its dead but it released some kind of horrible bile all over my screen.oh well, no harm done and i can clean it off.
Hey, whats that sound?
oooh crap!
BLAM!!!!! oh great! its dead but it released some kind of horrible bile all over my screen.oh well, no harm done and i can clean it off.
Hey, whats that sound?
oooh crap!
DontEatRawHagis
- 4 months 12 days ago
I need a robot uprising survival guide. Everyone knows how to deal with the undead but no one knows how to deal with a ten ton deathbot with only a spoon at your side.
smallberry
- 4 months 12 days ago
I'm totally god damn ready for the Zombies. You know why? They can't get me. I'm plucky and have a sunny disposition. I also have a cricket bat.
oryandymackie
- 4 months 11 days ago
You were right about zombies making a grand entrance. One arrogant brainlicker strolled through blood-spattered double doors with two dead punters blowing trumpets at the side. Hot lead generally deals with the problem.
zayleffein
- 4 months 11 days ago
If zombies ever attack my town I have an arsenal of tools, guns and ammo, propane tanks, and chainsaws(plural). If it happens, come over!
Oh and thanks GR for confirming my inherent fear of zombification of our world. I need to go buy another gun now.
Oh and thanks GR for confirming my inherent fear of zombification of our world. I need to go buy another gun now.
Silvermech
- 4 months 11 days ago
I feel I have slight chances to survive. Except I have two sets of glass doors, I'M OPEN FOR ATTACK! I'm moving to the mountains.
AbeX300
- 4 months 11 days ago
@barrage7667
"OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY EVERYONE I KNOW HAS A GUN!! AS LONG AS ZOMBIES CANT USE GUNS I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE!!!"
I really hope NO zombie has the intelligence to use weapons (remember Dead Rising with the yellow coats? Cults or zombies, they carry knives, so zombies could have a bit of intelligence, despite the zero brain activity).
What would be really threatening is that zombies would use ROCKET LAWNCHAIRS (Metal Slug 3 lol).
As you said, however, that they cannot use guns, then that's perfect. I heard that heavy machine guns are one of the WORST guns to use, since it doesn't have the accuracy to shoot a zombie's head.
Ah, Dead Rising. You never fail to amaze me.
"OH MY GOD IM SO HAPPY EVERYONE I KNOW HAS A GUN!! AS LONG AS ZOMBIES CANT USE GUNS I THINK I MIGHT HAVE A CHANCE!!!"
I really hope NO zombie has the intelligence to use weapons (remember Dead Rising with the yellow coats? Cults or zombies, they carry knives, so zombies could have a bit of intelligence, despite the zero brain activity).
What would be really threatening is that zombies would use ROCKET LAWNCHAIRS (Metal Slug 3 lol).
As you said, however, that they cannot use guns, then that's perfect. I heard that heavy machine guns are one of the WORST guns to use, since it doesn't have the accuracy to shoot a zombie's head.
Ah, Dead Rising. You never fail to amaze me.
Turkeykilla7
- 4 months 11 days ago
In Night of the Living dead the Zombies had guns. Atleast i think that was the name. Thats one of the things that could really screw us over. Gun weilding zombies and those crazy fast zombies like in Dawn of the Dead. Slow zombies would be easy though. Just board up your windows and doors. go sit on the roof with a scythe and just go to work. Save bullets for tight spots.
eagle13511
- 4 months 11 days ago
If I want to survive a zombie invasion I think I will seek the help of the Zombie survival guide thank you very much.
pandasrock
- 4 months 11 days ago
this is me usaully with my freinds
"okay guys we gotta stay togeher"
"nah if we split up we will cover more ground"
they run off
i hear something turn around and see tank (they let him in and ran off towards me)
after i kill him i run away and in exactly one minute into the match i find out they all died by zombies and i laugh
"okay guys we gotta stay togeher"
"nah if we split up we will cover more ground"
they run off
i hear something turn around and see tank (they let him in and ran off towards me)
after i kill him i run away and in exactly one minute into the match i find out they all died by zombies and i laugh
SlightlyBetterName
- 4 months 11 days ago
Great article. But go read World War Z anyway. You'll see that most people won't fallow these directions and in the end be killed.
Fizzmonkey
- 4 months 11 days ago
everyone thinks a zombie invasion will be fun. You won't think so when it actually happens.
-and it WILL happen.
-and it WILL happen.
mastersword369
- 4 months 11 days ago
@Spartan523: It does not rip off The Zombie Survival Guide, this is meant to be funny, The Zombie Survival Guide would acually be useful in this situation. This... would get me killed.
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