Remember in Star Wars, when Obi Wan felt a disturbance in the Force as the planet Alderaan was destroyed? That’s the same tingling sensation I felt when I awoke on the morning of June 28. I thought it could be a hangover, but regardless, something didn’t feel right. Something was…different. It wasn’t until I opened my web browser that I realized what it was: Diablo III had been announced. And that disturbance I felt? It was as if millions of fanboys suddenly cried out in joy—something magical had happened for them.

Me? I could not care less.

I’ve watched all 19 minutes of the gameplay trailer Blizzard released with the game’s announcement. I even had to sit through it with ecstatic commentary provided over instant messenger by PC Gamer’s former Editor-in-Chief, The Vede. I’ll even admit that the game looks better than I could’ve imagined—it’s one of the most visually stunning RPGs I’ve ever seen. But it still doesn’t get me excited. In fact, I don’t think I’ve been excited about a Blizzard game in a long time.

It’s not just because I’m a shooter fan, and the fact that Blizzard has never developed a shooter (please—the indefinitely postponed, console-only StarCraft: Ghost doesn’t count). My issues are rooted in the gameplay demands of the genre. The reason I like shooters is that they require a combination of reactionary hand-eye coordination skills and strategic thinking; serious Quake players must be quick on the draw while constantly analyzing and predicting their opponent’s actions. And in my opinion, the games Blizzard has released don’t necessitate the same kind of talent. Read closely—it’s not the level of skill I have problems with, it’s the type of skill.

StarCraft, Diablo, and World of Warcraft all follow a game-design paradigm that rewards the statistics-minded player—success in these games, to a certain extent, can be boiled down to how well you process data on spreadsheets. Whether you’re amassing troops with a total of X health to deal X damage in StarCraft, or buying armor and potions to max your HP and Mana count in Diablo, the gameplay is reduced to these minute (and admittedly complex) calculations about your units’ or character’s stats.

It’s true that this calculatory style of combat applies to shooters as well (analyzing your ammo, health, and run speed), but the X-factor here is that no matter how well a deathmatch player can do the math, he still has to be able to execute perfect rocket jumps and accurately pick off fast-moving targets with a railgun. I’m talking about aiming.

You can argue that world-class StarCraft champions also have to execute with precision and a high level of dexterity when they’re making hundreds of mouse-clicks a minute to build and position their forces. But it’s just not the same. Micromanaging a swarm of two-dozen Mutalisks is mentally taxing, but I don’t think that it’s nearly as immersive or engaging as when you’re gunning from your avatar’s perspective, trying to make every shot count while enemies are firing at you, not some character you’re manipulating from afar.

So until Blizzard comes out with a game made for me, I’ll reserve my enthusiasm for the next Valve or Id Software announcement. Here’s hoping for Lost Vikings III: The First-Person Shooter.

August 7, 2008