Agitators assemble! Left 4 Dead’s versus mode has ushered in a golden age of annoyance—an era where biting your friends’ skulls is encouraged, and tactical use of vomit is a key to victory. Playing as the boss infected in L4D could be the most satisfying asymmetrical mode I’ve ever played, and after many scream-filled playthroughs, I’ve compiled some techniques guaranteed to produce the most aggravation in your adversaries. For bonus harassment, consult the “suggested mockery”—pre-generated trash-talk, so you can focus on doing what you do best: beating the health out of Louis, Zoey, Francis, and Bill.

Gone Fishin’
Suggested mockery: “I dun’ caught me a big one!”
If the survivors are the tender trout floating in the apocalypse’s urban sea, Smokers are its undead fishermen, snaring the uninfected with ropy tongues. Valve used a baiting tactic when we played against them: having a Smoker pluck the player that’s lagging behind, and calling in a Hunter to pounce the ally that attempts a rescue. Buy one, get one free.

Spider-Hunter
Suggested mockery: “Can he swing from a web? / No he can’t, he’s a zombie”
The Hunter’s agility is its greatest asset, but in open areas, it can make a better distraction than direct attacker. Those silhouettes that dart across the screen in horror movies? That’s you. Springing off surfaces and hopping over the heads of grouped survivors can force their gaze upward, letting your horde friends get a few gnaws in. More importantly, it amplifies the tension created by the game’s dim lighting and creepy audio cues. Jumping around doesn’t inflict damage, but don’t underestimate the fraying effects it’ll have over your enemies’ collective psyche.

Damned-bulance
Suggested mockery: “I’m in ur safe room, eatin’ ur survivors.”
Survivors seek refuge where they expect to be safe, or where they’ll find supplies. Ambush around ambulances and other areas that usually hold health kits–nine times out of 10, survivors will go out of their way to search them.

Boomer Eclipse
Suggested mockery: “Boomshakalaka!”
Boomers: nature’s angriest undead water balloons. Witches: the anorexic, howling landmines of zombiekind. Paired, they’re a perfect couple. Boomers are wide enough to hide a Witch if they’re standing in front of them, so take advantage: any trigger-happy survivors aiming at you should shoot through, startling your pale, claw-handed girlfriend. This is best-executed at close range, but the general strategy remains: force survivors toward a Witch whenever possible to make the NPC work for you, and never let ’em engage on their own terms.

December 16, 2008