Quantcast

Grand Theft Radar: Hooker Beauty Contest

Which poorly rendered prostitute owns the night?

Words: Charlie Barratt, GamesRadar US


Hometown: Liberty City

Favorite quote: "That's a taste of corn on the cob."

Stephen's critique: Again, we witness the sartorial pairing of a smart blazer and a gigantic set of tits. This time, the sports bra is binned in favor of a lacy sex-chassis, teamed with the controversial externalization of the suspender belt. Great as an evening look. Less appropriate for lunch with the in-laws.


Hometown: Las Venturas

Favorite quote: "Hey, I bruise easily."

Stephen's critique: Big in the specialist market. A 10 o'clock shadowed she-he, all parceled up in the requisite rubber jug-harness, PVC shorts and US Army bovver boots. Apparently she does amazing things with a Gillette Fusion.


Hometown: Vice City

Favorite quote: "So many men. Such little time."

Stephen's critique: Riffing off the pseudo "realness" so tiresomely fed to impressionable kids by warblers like Pink and Fergie, this bottom-faced fugly looks all sorts of wrong. Check the weird, clashy checkerboard top and hazard stripe gauntlets, all topped off with your mum's hairstyle. Wouldn't, as they say, with yours.


 
3 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Chiropteran  - 11 months 10 days ago 
Just a thought. Maybe these, um, ladies are supposed to be ugly. I mean, what little I know of real hookers from newspapers and, interestingly, museum displays of photographs, shows most of them to look no better than, and some rather worse that those portrayed here. Is Rockstar making them unappealing for a reason? Like, don't play here?
scbyfn4evr  - 6 months 11 days ago 
Ahuh. Newspapers.

What little I know of hookers came from newspapers too.

As did my chlamydia.

....newspapers.
2RFL7  - 14 days 51 minutes ago 
Rockstar really makes some realistic ladies of the night!
Related Games
TalkRadar 76 - Actually game related!
360 Feature
Nov 7, 2009
50 iPhone games you need to play
PC Feature
Nov 6, 2009
100 A buttons
Wii Feature
Nov 6, 2009
Characters we wish we knew LESS about
Wii Feature
Nov 5, 2009
The Bell Tolls for More Assassin's Creed N4G
PS3 News from N4G
Nov 8, 2009
Ubisoft demands high Assassin's Creed 2 review... N4G
PS3 News from N4G
Nov 8, 2009
Left 4 Dead 2 Has Begun Pre-Loading N4G
PC News from N4G
Nov 8, 2009
Smash TV Update Put On Hold But Not Cancelled N4G
360 News from N4G
Nov 8, 2009
Police Officer Gets Caught Stealing PS3 Games N4G
PS3 News from N4G
Nov 8, 2009