Winner: Yaris
Microsoft | 360

We hate to punch a gift horse in the mouth, but Yaris had even the greediest of Achievement whores tossing their controllers to the floor with outright disgust. Sure the game is free. But so is cancer, and most found a session of Yaris to be like playing an idiotic Powerpoint presentation.

You don’t so much “race” or even steer. Instead, your metrosexual chariot strafes through half-pipes like a crippled Sonic the Hedgehog in a second-hand wheelchair. Shooting flying iPods and pitbulls is just as dumb as it sounds, and it’s laughable that somebody expected this pathetic attempt at interactive advertising to move vehicles off the lot.

Fandom has its limits, and there’s a vast difference between buying a Samus bust and purchasing a $20,000 sloppy jalopy. Besides, the Yaris is - without a doubt - the most unlikable game character since Bubsy the Bobcat. The only reason we’d ever consider buying one is to fabricate a lucrative false advertisement suit against Toyota. “Your Honor, my client was misled to believe the laser tentacle came standard!”

Scratched disc: America's Army: True Soldiers
Ubisoft | 360

Demanding we shell out 60 bucks for an inferior version of free propaganda our tax dollars already paid for? Now that’s just pure, old-fashioned Communism.