SteelSeries 7G keyboard ($150)
available at Amazon
We’ve no idea if a keyboard can improve your scores, but if any keyboard can, it’s this beast. This is one of those comically fancy items that truly hardcore gamers froth over. The inner chassis is made of metal, it uses 18k gold connectors for super-low latency, a braided cord, a removable wristrest and construction so rugged we really think this could be used as the door to a space capsule. Or a surfboard. Or maybe both. Wouldn’t that be cool? We wouldn’t have to pick the astronauts up from the ocean any more, they could just land, pop the door and surf in to shore? We just don’t see enough surfing astronauts these days. What we DO see at post time is this and the Ikari mouse together on sale at Amazon right now for a bargain batch price of $177. Nice.

SteelSeries Ikari Laser mouse ($90)
available at Amazon
Granted, a mouse is a matter of personal taste, like whether or not Britney Spears is still do-able or which actor was the second best movie Batman. That said, this baby sports lots of brag-worthy stats like 40,000 samples per second, five buttons, a braided cord, portable on-board customization (so you tweak it once and the mouse remembers your settings on any computer), toggleable dpi settings that can be set between 1-3200 and switched on the fly, and 10 keystroke macros. Which is all a very fancy way of saying this mouse rules. However, it’s the size of a half-coconut and very contoured, so lefties and those with small hands might instead want to try our next mouse. And keep an eye out for an island girl whose one-coconut bra is leaving one of her upper lady-parts exposed.

NZXT Avatar gaming mouse ($60)
available at Amazon
Like the Ikari, this thing has sharp looks and a ton of random bullet points: 2600 dpi, customizable everything: DPI, five user profiles stored onboard, seven reprogrammable buttons, and 20-stroke macros. Plus, it’s smaller than the Ikari and symmetrical, so it fits female paws, as well as those mangled, mutated fleshclaws you lefties call hands.

Sony PlayStation 3 Wireless Keypad ($50)
available at Amazon
Sony PlayStation 3 Bluetooth Headset ($50)
available at Amazon
It’s not really worth arguing about whether or not this should have been out two years ago when the PlayStation 3 launched. The fact is, if you know anyone who owns a PS3, they need these. Now. And also two years ago.

Nerf N-Strike light gun bundle for Wii ($60)
available at Amazon
There are approximately four times as many light guns for Wii as thre are decent light gun games. That’s what makes this light gun, the Switch Shot EX-3, so special. It ships with its own game, called Nerf N-Strike, but the real prize is the blaster, which doubles as a real dart gun with a two-dart clip. Just in case one foam dart isn’t enough to show them you’re a man on the edge and you just don’t freakin’ care what fool you buss a cap in.

Mission Complete System Gear Bag ($125)
available from Astro Gaming
You know how we usually transport our office consoles around? We wrap them in a sweater, shove ‘em in a duffel bag, and hope for the best. No longer. This piece of fine luggage has sturdy Velcro straps specifically designed to hold your console and (if needed) power brick securely in place, as well as elastic loops designed to cradle two controllers in the gentle embrace of total safety. It’s generously padded all around and small enough to carry onto a plane (barely), but roomy enough to easily hold a few days’ worth of clothes and other gear. You know – in case we want to actually wear that sweater once in awhile. It gets cold here in California. Not because of the weather – because of all the ice we thugs be wearing. Bling!

Blik wall graphics ($45-75)
from Blik
What a simple-yet-brilliant idea: Print game graphics on adhesive sheets of vinyl and enable true fans to blast ‘em all over their living space. Eric is rocking the Invaders on his game room’s ceiling, and everyone in the office is drooling over all three Nintendo sets. The quick pitch is these are better than a poster every day of the week and well worth moving the furniture around so you can get an unobstructed view. Besides, that painting of Great Aunt Hazel and her prize-winning schnauzer Skittlewurst really isn’t getting you any play with the ladies, you know? But Mario? Sex god.

Hallmark Keepsakes Pac-Man holiday ornament ($20)
available in Hallmark stores and at Amazon
Remember this beauty? Considering all the quarters at least one GR staffer (the really old one who uses words like “whipper snappers” and “where’d my pants go?”) used to pump into the full-sized version of this thing as a kid, $20 is a small price to pay for an ongoing reminder of those blissful childhood days. It even lights up and plays the start-up jingle.
 
Mana potion (4/$14)
available at manapotions.com
Sure, to most people this just looks like a blue energy drink in a little flask the size of a shot glass, cocooned in a kinda gaudy clear plastic sheath that says MANA on it. But to an RPG fan, this is the substance that powers the magic that holds together the very universe. It’s a symbol of power. The power to heal. The power to cast magic missile. The power to call forth a powerful interdimensional god to firebomb that single half-naked kobold who thought it was smart to attack a heavily-armed party of eight. The power to raise an ally from the dead at any time that isn’t critical to the story. So you're not giving them an energy drink. You're giving them possibilities.

Oh, and it’s also equivalent to four cups of coffee or two Red Bulls. So may also be giving them the ability to physically vibrate involuntarily if they actually drink it.

Zelda ocarina ($20-300)
available at STLOcarina
We didn’t even realize an Ocarina was a real music instrument for years, but these folks did. Then they realized that hordes of gamers are so into Zelda that they’d like to purchase an Ocarina, maybe even learn how to play Zelda songs on it. And they filled that niche. Yay capitalism!

Nerdcore calendar ($15)
available at totallynerdcore.com
Hey, gas stations have their calendars of girls bending over car hoods, jocks have their calendars of Sports Illustrated swimsuit babes, and bars have their calendars, posters, and life sized cardboard standees of girls holding booze. So why not have a pinup calendar filled with naked girls acting like cyborg cowgirls and sci-fi spacebabes? We’ve only seen these censored sample pics, so we can’t really tell you where the actual days and numbers go, but let’s be honest: Who’s really buying this calendar for its date-tracking ability?

You, Melvin? Umm. Yeah, we could have guessed that, but we didn’t want to say anything. This is awkward.

PixelBlocks (various prices)
from pixelblocks.com
We’ve bragged about these jewels before. Twice, in fact. PixelBlocks are like rainbow-colored catnip to any gamer old enough to remember when you could exactly duplicate the look of any character in any game as long as you had enough graph paper. We’ve got tons of these things around the office, and we always want more. Partially because Chris keeps thinking they’re candy and eating them, but mostly because they rock.

Zibra OpenIt! ($15)
available at Amazon
It’s one of the least glamorous gifts on our list, the name is stupid and the getter may visibly wonder what exactly you’ve been putting in your morning protein shakes (Funyuns and gumballs. Yum!) But they’ll be calling you in a month telling you it’s their favorite present ever.

You know those infuriating plastic clamshell blister packs everything good seems to come in these days? The OpenIt! is specifically designed to cut through them like a child’s safety scissors through a construction paper valentine. No scuffed knuckles, no “paper cut” gashes from the razor-like edges of your new item’s plastic prison, no gasping for breath as you try to tear the toughest space-age polymers science can muster with your bare hands. It’s also got a tiny screwdriver to open battery compartments and also cuts plastic zip-ties and wires. We do question the placement of an extendable razor blade (great for splitting spine stickers on CD and game cases) in the handle without a better safety latch, but whatever – the night nurse at our emergency room is smokin’. The OpenIt! is still a gift from God. Or from you, if you beat him to it.

Points cards for Wii, Xbox 360, or PlayStation 3 (various prices)
What’s that? Our huge buffet of methods to surprise and delight the gamer in your life has actually given you too much choice? We understand. Sony has been slow to bring its PlayStation 3 network points cards to online retail, but they’re finally showing up at Wal-Mart, Best Buy, and Barnes & Noble. And if your gift recipient has a Wii or an Xbox 360, you’re all set, because those can be found at Amazon. Just give them as many points cards for that system as you can afford. These are just like money. You know how cigarettes are like money in prison? Especially when it’s lights out or shower time? It’s like that. Yep, it’s exactly the same.

Sandisk memory cards for Wii ($10-20)
available at sandisk.com
The Xbox 360 and PlayStation 3 may have hard drives, but the Wii has very little onboard storage. That’s where these babies come in, enabling the Wii user in your life to download more creative WiiWare games, relive the past with more Virtual Arcade games, or just stock up on downloaded songs for Rock Band and Guitar Hero. They’ll love you for it.

GameFly subscription (several price options)
available at Gamefly.com
Most easily described as NetFlix for games, GameFly is what to get a player who devours games the way a masked killer with a meathook plows through coeds at summer camp. For a monthly fee, you can rent one, two, three or more games at a time (though gift certificates are limited to two games per month). You keep them as long as it takes to slaughter an alien race, complete your dinosaur zoo, become the best dressed robot prom queen in history or whatever, toss ‘em in a prepaid envelope when you’re done, and get new ones sent you the moment the old ones arrive back at GameFly HQ. It’s great, and GameFly has gift subscriptions too. Just be warned that they totally figure it out if you send back an old N-Sync CD instead of the actual game disc. Or so we've heard.