GR: Are you familiar with Rapture?

SPR: I know what the word means.

Above: Could life be better down where it's wetter?

GR: It’s an undersea community in a game called BioShock where people go to escape religious oppression.

SPR: [Laughs] They go to get rid of religious oppression?

GR: Among other things.

SPR: Well, that’s where I oughta go. [Laughs]

GR: Exactly! That’s what I was thinking.

SPR: [Laughs] That’s where we oughta go to get rid of religious oppression. This nation, this “tolerant nation,” with a “First Amendment.” Now that’s where I need to go.

GR: So you’d be willing to relocate under the sea?

SPR: No… I was just kidding. I wouldn’t dare go trying to hide out.

GR: Well, your congregation is mostly your family

SPR: Well probably 80 percent of these people are either related to me by blood or marriage.

GR: In Rapture, they also suffered a genetic disaster of sorts, so how do you plan on going about “progressing” your family?

SPR: I don’t have any plans on progressing my family.

GR: But you have eleven kids.

SPR: That’s not my job.

GR: What is your job exactly?

SPR: My job is to serve the living and the true God.

GR: Well, what do you put on your tax forms?

SPR: Oh, you mean what is my vocation?

GR: Sure. What is your vocation?

SPR: I’m a lawyer.

GR: Awesome. Have you played the Phoenix Wright games?

SPR: What?

GR: These are great little attorney-based games. They’re on the DS.

SPR: [Laughs] You’re cracking me up.

GR: My goal is to get you out to buy a new game or system today.

SPR: [Laughs] I’ll leave all that game buying to my children.

GR: You talk about all these people going to Hell. Gamers are no doubt aware of the consequences of this. Are you aware of what happens when there is no room left in Hell?

SPR: There’s no such thing as that. God is not running out of room in Hell.

GR: Wrong. The dead will walk the Earth. The way you guys talk, you make like it’s some exclusive party and no one gets to go to heaven but you.

SPR: First of all, when you say it’s "exclusive," that’s the language of the scriptures. That it is a remnant, a very small remnant, according to The Election of Grace. You understand what I just said?

GR: Absolutely not.

SPR: it’s a remnant according to The Election of Grace. “Except the lord of hosts had left unto us a very small remnant,” we would’ve already been destroyed like Sodom and Gomorrah. Serious and sober stuff.