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Game moments you don't want a loved one walking in on

Brutal. Sexy. Wrong. Keep the door locked shut if you're playing any of these

Words: Dave Meikleham, GamesRadar UK

Shaming you silly in: Fahrenheit

There’s no doubt that Fahrenheit was an innovative game when it was released in 2005. Combining a compelling, believable narrative with some gripping QTE-style cut scenes, it really did feel like an interactive movie. Still, for all of its character nuance and depth it wasn’t above a bit of sexy sex. And the bit where the two main protagonists start to go at it like a couple of drunk, horny teens on prom night is fairly explicit for a videogame.

WARNING: The following scene contains partial nudity. Don't watch if you have an aversion to digital nipples

Above: Here’s the big ‘romantic’ scene. Just like Sixteen Candles, eh? Erm, except with zombie sex instead of candles

What makes it really disturbing, though, is one of the characters, Lucas, is clearly a living corpse by the time they start bumping uglies on the back of a freezing cargo train. Although it’s nothing you won’t have seen in some good old fashioned family softcore, you still wouldn’t want to share it with your nearest and dearest.

Possible excuse: No, it’s not a needless flashing of flesh. The world is about to end, so zombie sex is clearly integral to the plot. They need to respawn the Earth with little undead nippers after all.

Shaming you silly in: GTA IV

Going to a gentleman’s establishment for a private showing in past GTAs was certainly not something you wanted someone walking in on. But, played on a small enough TV, the blurry, low-def graphics might just have seen you get away with it. Unfortunately, the HD era, with its reasonably-priced leviathan LCD screens and crystal clear next-gen graphics, means there’s no hiding those high-def, thong-clad cheeks.

WARNING: The video below features hard-coded women gyrating all sexy and provocative like

Above: The most expensive treatment in the Triangle Club is fine and all. But, for these kinds of prices, would it kill someone to bring us a Sprunk?

The backroom in IV’s Pink Triangle Club even has different levels of service, which include girl-on-girl grotty goings on if Niko’s feeling flush. We’d suggest staying away from the place all together to save any potential embarrassment. How about a nice game of darts instead?

Possible excuse: This is really not what it looks like. I’m actually chasing up a lead. I’m trying to find that special someone. In a, erm…strip club…with a lap dance…in a private room in the back. Look, it’s a legitimate investigation, OK?

Shaming you silly in: Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude

Where to start with Larry? There’s an absolute rafter of raunchy escapades you’d never live down if you were caught controlling gaming’s most pronounced perv. Be it panty raids, playing Quarters – where you have to get impressionable girls drunk - or enough sleaze to make even Ron Jeremy blush.

Above: Country legend Willie Nelson is mentioned numerous times in this charming conversation. Must…highlight…penis…innuendo

Steering sperm through ‘hot spots’ while trying to chat girls up has to take the carnal cake, though. And you’d be hard pressed to argue the cultural and artistic merit of games if anyone caught you controlling Larry’s best swimmers.

Possible Excuse: Eh, it’s a clever and ironic take on the post-modern dating scene? Nah, you’re right. I’m just a lonely person.

Shaming you silly in: World of Warcraft

It may be the most popular MMORPG on the planet, holding the Guinness World Record for the most monthly subscribers of any game, but you still don’t want anyone to know you play it. It might be a life-swallowing doze of RPG nirvana, but being caught trying to level up your Draenei at three in the morning is never going to be a proud moment, is it?

Above: The effect prolonged exposure to WOW is having on the innocent youth of today

Possible Excuse: Look this is just as normal as going for a few drinks or a game of pool. I mean, 16 million people can’t be wrong, can they? Can they?!

Now that we've aired some gaming shames, what about the rest of you? Why not share your personal moments of toe-curling gaming embarrassment below?


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66 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Darkness710  - 1 year 1 month ago 
First..
yeah i was playing The Darkness..my mum walked in on The Jenny scene (both the kiss and the 'you know') and my grandma heard all of the goons insults (you f*ckin piece of f*cking sh*t estacado!)..
RandyChimp  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i was playin css and some annoying noob kept sprayin up those porn sprays when my nan walked in to say bye! Shamed, i was!
adatron771  - 1 year 1 month ago 
getting caught playing one of those hentai "dating" sims...lol. getting caught blowing limbs off an already dead body in SOF: Payback.
KHfan  - 1 year 1 month ago 
the only game that i played where my mum came in was in the strip club on gta
zabu_san  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i had a friend who was playing FF X-2 (or "EX"-Two as Chris likes to say) and his mom walked in on him, paused, looked @ the screen again, called him queer and just walked back out!!
He said he immediately turned the PS2 off and never picked the game back up!!
JosephCh  - 1 year 1 month ago 
FF X-2 ... Mom walked in on me during a cutscene, and up to this day my parents still like bringing up "that weird Barbie game you used to play" every time they overhear me talking about video games ... :(
Tasty_Pasta  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Good list. My parents walked in while I was playing the Psycho Mantis fight once (coincidentally right after that Meryl panty scene takes place). They flipped out because he's so crazy. I also think the Max Payne dreams should be on there. Nothing more anti-family than a bloodsoaked room with a baby crying.
TheSuburbiaRuins  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I thought that game was called...Indigo Prophecy?
ELpork  - 1 year 1 month ago 
haha, silly bum's.
Blinder  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Well, being from the Bay Area. I was really impressed with San Fierro, also the fact that I was stationed on an LHA(navy amphibious assault ship). Which is definatly the model used for the ship in the game. I brought my mother in to give her a helicopter tour of the city and the detail of the ship, and forgot the ships number, oops! "69???"
jackf-11  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Once my dad came along and watched a scene with Bernie (GTA V).
Cra-Z-Jake  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Let's see... I've only been walked-in-on when it was profanity, really... I don't know if they caught it, but when my father was nearby whilst playing Saints Row... I drove by one of the "Pussy Liquors" semi-trailers... yes... I was hoping to God that they didn't catch it.
GamesRadarMikelReparaz  - 1 year 1 month ago 
@TheSuburbiaRuins: It was Indigo Prophecy in the US, and Fahrenheit in Europe. Incidentally, that sex scene exists only in the Euro version of the game, so Dave is not wrong to refer to it only as Fahrenheit when discussing said scene.

Clarified'd!
Juriasu  - 1 year 1 month ago 
My dad walked in on me when playing Okami. He said I was wierd for playing a "cartoon game". I became really sad. :´(
Juriasu  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Damn it, I screwed up the smiley up there!
Coolbeans69  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I'm surprised the bordelo in fable didn't make it up there.
NelosAngelos  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Why is it that every time you get to the strip club, or that "certain" cutscene comes on, or that character drops the F bomb twenty times do your loved ones suddenly jump right out of no where?
1NVAD3R  - 1 year 1 month ago 
When I play Mega Man 1 or 2 and my parents come in for some unknown reason, I would just keep playing. Once I thought my mom had left and after I had to press continue for about the 23rd time and died right in the beginning because I missed a jump I yelled some odd war cry and threw the controller at the wall. My mom was stunned and I calmly picked it back up and continued playing. Know I just can't wait to get mad at Mega Man 9.
LilBompie17  - 1 year 1 month ago 
HA HA HA HA HA FUNNY
thebestninja54  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i was playing Max payne 2 and the cutscene were mona was taking a shower naked my dad walked in the room and he told me why am i looking at porno and i was like WTF IS A FUCKING GAME
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