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Game Ads of Yesteryear

60 bits of olde tyme game propaganda we dug out of our closets

Words: Henry Gilbert, GamesRadar US


Above: It will take you centuries to read this advert

 


Above: The truth is many kill themselves when faced with playing this game

 


Above: Guess we weren’t the only ones whose mothers made us wear a helmet indoors

 


Above: Is this what the publisher thinks Chinese people look like?

 


Above: We’re guessing this game is about killing penguins, a noble pursuit

 


Above: That alien design is so original; it just screams “alien”

 


Above: He’s such a renegade he breaks his own logo

 


Above: The mutation makes them look and sound worse, and can only be played two at a time

 


Above: The ultimate dragon slayer is love

 


Above: At last, a game that will beat up your dad

 


Above: That’s Elway’s thinking face, which he must employ to best a stereotypical nerd

 


Above: Yes it’s the legendary Fabio cover to this long forgotten game, because kids love Fabio


 
37 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
babo_u_da  - 9 months 27 days ago 
i can't choose which one is my favorite out of these the mario ad or the final fantasy mystic quest ad..
lava_lamp  - 9 months 27 days ago 
A KOOL-AID MAN GAME!
THATS AMAZING!
Gahmah  - 9 months 27 days ago 
I thought Henry Gilbert was the guy on the star wars box for a moment
ssj4raditz  - 9 months 27 days ago 
FABIO! I just knew Iron Sword had to be in this.
Corsair89  - 9 months 27 days ago 
Final Fantasy Mystic Quest ad was my favorite.
RebornKusabi  - 9 months 27 days ago 
*Sees Silver Surfer ad for the NES*

Oh my GOD I hate this fucking game!!!!! Seriously, if you value your soul then you might want to stay the fucking hell away from this devil-spawn of a game!
kingpin202  - 9 months 27 days ago 
Is it sad that I remember a few of these? lol.

Especially the TNMT one. lol.
ELpork  - 9 months 27 days ago 
Kwirk makes me think of the 7 up dude.
GamesRadarCharlieBarratt  - 9 months 27 days ago 
"Danny Wimpasinger"? That is the best name ever.
lava_lamp  - 9 months 27 days ago 
>Is this an ad for a game or the Yellow Submarine?

lmao i love that movie
PCG_Evan  - 9 months 27 days ago 
Good stuff. I like when Robocop strangled the dragon to grab his book of the shelf.
reyalejandro13  - 9 months 27 days ago 
GASP!!! Mario, in a movie AND a ceral?!?!? That's impossible? and incredibly disturbing. I never knew that mario tasted like fruit. Oh, and all badass final fantasy games had something to do with cows...
HungryBeaver  - 9 months 27 days ago 
Kool Aid game? I wanna play that. Holy crap cool!
CountFenring  - 9 months 27 days ago 
That is NOT a Super Cobra. They look like this http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/AH-1_SuperCobra It was around for 12 (!) years before the game.
Craza  - 9 months 27 days ago 
I love these old school articles you have GR, it really helps me get in touch with the era of gaming that I wasn't alive for. :P
mrmak  - 9 months 27 days ago 
"Ready, Aim, Punish!"

No other phrase flows as well as this.
FourMe2PoopOn  - 9 months 27 days ago 
I want that Kool-Aid game......Like seriously.
zymn  - 9 months 27 days ago 
when that one ad said Gary Larsen, i thought they meant Gary LARSON...
you know, the guy who made The Far Side...
it was a comic strip in the 80s/90s?
never heard of it?
then go die.
zymn  - 9 months 27 days ago 
ahaha, i should scan in the ads from my old Nintendo Power mags. you guys forgot the dude in the ballerina outfit! :P

and the SNES in the ice cube!
may.be.vital  - 9 months 27 days ago 
I lol'd at the Mario breakfast and Decapattack ads
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