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Evolution of the tree

... and 14 other everyday objects we take for granted in videogames

Words: PSM3 UK

Breasts


Barbarian, C64, 1987

Ah, Barbarian. You lop off arms and heads as if they’re going out of fashion and a maiden in triangle bikini watches you. What else does a game need? Well, some curves would be nice. Those boobs look a bit too… sharp.


Dead or Alive, PSone, 1998

Contrary to popular belief, this wasn’t the first 3D fighter to feature boob jiggle – Soul Blade’s Taki certainly came beforehand. But none did it so brazenly. Boing. Boing. Boing. There was an option to turn off the bounce in the options menu. Arguably the most pointless option ever.


Rumble Roses, PS2, 2004

The girls in Rumble Roses are all about the show. They’ll happily dress up in string bikinis and wrestle in mud pits – it’s all in a day’s work. But PS2 never rendered boobs so well. Still, they bounce, they jiggle – they even go under their arms a little when they lie down.


NeoWave: The King of Fighters, PS2, 2006

The KOF series’ famously detailed sprites ‘peaked’ with Mai’s preposterously over-animated chest. Technically impressive as it is, try telling the man in SNK Japan tasked with drawing her preposterous honkboxes pixel by pixel over tens of thousands of scarcely-altering animation frames.


Soul Calibur IV, PS3/360, 2008

Sophitia and friends return with even more outlandish boobage than before. Ivy’s threatening to tip over at any minute under the weight of her mammoth heavers, but it’s okay. The soul will still burn. There’s also more underboob, following on from Calibur III’s marvelous outfit changes. Get in.


 
60 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
Amnesiac  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Uh...fascinating?

Oh and...15 PAGES!?
sbghost64  - 1 year 1 month ago 
interesante, muy bien, todos los fotos son estupendos, hay muchos paginas
mertor3190  - 1 year 1 month ago 
This goes to show you, its the small things that matter
ELpork  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I'm so happy Black made the Gun's list.
Jimmyjammy  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Trees are one thing that no game has ever gotten right. They always look like shit. I think the only time I was ever impressed by a game's trees was in MGS3, and only at the time it came out.
georgeguy  - 1 year 1 month ago 
MEGA-artical but still interesting
Tasty_Pasta  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Lol! All of the faces are MGS games.
darkmagshin  - 1 year 1 month ago 
7page-!...oh um i mean...15 motherloving pages good god!! motherF@#$%!!
lol im jk, surprisingly elaborate article to say the least
radicle94  - 1 year 1 month ago 
why wasnt the mario hand for SSB on the evolution of the hand
radicle94  - 1 year 1 month ago 
And BF:Bad Company should have gone some where in there maybe trees or walls
Gn4lyfr13dCh1ck3n  - 1 year 1 month ago 
where is crysis in all of this... it looks better than any of the games mention, you can shoo the trees in half, amazing water, and about walls..... you can punch them out... it beats all of these except in fire and boobs...
cricket0  - 1 year 1 month ago 
Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune must have amazing graphics 2 be the best on 3 pages!
drprofessor  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i really liked this article. good job guys.
iluvmyDS  - 1 year 1 month ago 
I am pleasantly surprised, I enjoyed this article.
CandiedJester  - 1 year 1 month ago 
That sort of thing got people very excited in the mid-nineties. But then again, so did Vanilla Ice and Furbies.
-LOL

That was a fun article
Even though it was 15 pages..at least it was mostly pictures. >.<

Oh yeah, and I saw CTR!!
Hah I used to love that game..
I still do.
drprofessor  - 1 year 1 month ago 
sorry bout the double post but.....i liked the article length. it actually didnt really feel much longer than reading a 7 pager and this type of article really needs alot of room. I mean you cant just do 2 or 3 objects, that'd be a waste.
ok nuff bithin lol

again great article guys very entertaining.
bron1417  - 1 year 1 month ago 
long but interesting and it really does make me thankful for what we had back then and now.
TheSuburbiaRuins  - 1 year 1 month ago 
15 pages?! Lawl.
jmac51  - 1 year 1 month ago 
i think that elder scrolls oblivion should have been the best for skies and weather
GoldenMe  - 1 year 1 month ago 
No Crysis? Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha,
very funny GR.
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