Quantcast

8 officially licensed WTF?! products

We show you batshit-insane merchandise to market the most popular games

Words: Shane Patterson, GamesRadar US

It’s natural for videogame companies to get a little marketing-happy. Hell, if we had a popular franchise, we’d whore it out as much as we could too. (By the way, make sure to check out GamesRadar for all your gaming-related needs!) Anyway, we’ve stumbled upon so much dreadful, officially licensed merchandise over the years, we couldn’t help but laugh at how poorly they portrayed the games they were based on. Get ready to bask your eyes in the most confusing products that ever marketed a game.

Image courtesy of www.themushroomkingdom.net

Nintendo Cereal System

What is this crap?

A diabetes-trap starring two of your favorite NES franchises - Super Mario Bros. and The Legend of Zelda - each with their own cereal, in one funderful box of sugar.

WTF?

Even with cereal-specific shapes like Goombas and Heart Pieces, the marketing geniuses at Ralston Cereals (now known for producing dog food) distinguish the two incredibly different flavors as “fruity” and “berry” - which is kinda like saying “food group” and “part of food group.” We never thought that a balanced breakfast would perfectly embody the spirit of Mario’s platforming and Link’s quest for the master sword - but yup, it’s true. Consuming cereal is totally like playing your NES. Now finish eating your billboard, kids.

 
12 Comments
Order Comments: Newest First | Oldest First
CashWheel  - 6 months 7 days ago 
First!
SkullSplitter  - 5 months 26 days ago 
Hey, who wouldn't want Pikachu car? LOL
Catherine  - 5 months 25 days ago 
There was some better Nintendo cereal. It was Pokemon cereal. It had marshmallows!
dynomit272  - 5 months 25 days ago 
want the pikachu car!
want the pokémon cereal!
both must be awesome
norcemastero  - 5 months 25 days ago 
i'd like to snag a copy or to of that doujinshi
thatonekid1995  - 5 months 25 days ago 
The first 7 pages were alright but then page 8 was extremely uncomfortable especially when being observed with your younger brother at side
EvilInkarnate  - 5 months 24 days ago 
Wow!! The Japanese truly terrify me. Between game hentai and the creepy pillow, the Pikachu car that reminds me of Ren with a cranked up Happy Helmet on, I hope to never go to Japan. The Mario cup though...?? ::shudders::
SheetSandwich  - 5 months 23 days ago 
The Japenese are sick, psycotic, sexualy repressed freaks. It's a generalization, but it stands true in this case.
smellypeanut  - 5 months 23 days ago 
Oh come on guys, like you've never masturbated to dojinshi before.
thephntm  - 5 months 20 days ago 
lol hentai is for hornys
Squall5005  - 1 month 22 days ago 
I know this is an old article but it annoys me that you have slated the Tetris board game.

If you had done your research you would know that it was a board game that inspired Tetris, not the other way around.

The game was is called 'Pentomino' and the idea of the game is to fill the given field without leaving any gaps or spaces.

Alexey Pazhitnov was inspired by 'Pentomino' and eventually created out beloved 'Tetris'

So Tetris is infact the Anti-Pentomino.

I do love Tetris and I still play it to this day. But the fact that you seem to be so angry about this board game would make me think you too are a big tetris fan. But your limited knowledge suggests otherwise.

I do agree that this would make an terrible birthday present.
Hellwilder  - 1 month 7 hours ago 
lol at Hentai xD
I mean, those are things only disturbed minds draw :S
"Steambot Chronicles Battle Tournament"... N4G
PSP News from N4G
Jul 5, 2009
Could Fitness Gaming BeThe Future? N4G
Wii News from N4G
Jul 5, 2009
D2D Sale Slashes Big Name Titles N4G
PC News from N4G
Jul 5, 2009
Atlus spoils "Demon's Souls", announces... N4G
PS3 News from N4G
Jul 5, 2009