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38 favourite bullshit PR cliches
Promotional crap translated into real-world truth
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39 Comments
Order Comments:
Newest First | Oldest First
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somerandomchap
- 8 months 4 days ago
haha awesome, i want to play a game with my ass then i will have buns of steel
Z-man427
- 8 months 4 days ago
"NOTE: It's a well-known games journalism fact that a newly announced game can be immediately and accurately reviewed by starting at a perfect 10 and subtracting the number of exclamation marks in the press release to arrive at a final score."
back when i was a Journalism major, i was told that a journalist gets 2 exclamation points to use in their entire career. anyone who uses one to fill characters, like the person who inspired the above quote, are idiots.
great article though. i never tire of these things. whenever i read excerpts like these, i try to figure out which words were left out in order to make it sound positive.
back when i was a Journalism major, i was told that a journalist gets 2 exclamation points to use in their entire career. anyone who uses one to fill characters, like the person who inspired the above quote, are idiots.
great article though. i never tire of these things. whenever i read excerpts like these, i try to figure out which words were left out in order to make it sound positive.
Stabby_Joe
- 8 months 4 days ago
Nintendo say a lot of these... like announcing something that the Wii was promised to do before release.
OldRustyDusty
- 8 months 4 days ago
Hahahaha this is great. I've seen/heard/read all of these, and the explanations are spot-on, very funny but sadly true.
CoD_22
- 8 months 4 days ago
the biggest new release so far on console x: its probably crap because the other companies refused to disgrace their console with it and they cba to make a decent game, just say its good and hope most people believe them and spend money on it. im looking at you, haze! i have a ps3 btw, so this isnt a fanboy comment.
kurkosdr
- 8 months 3 days ago
[b]"we are shifting focus into developing titles for the value-minded audience (and for the mobile gaming scene)"[/b]
"we 've lost the bet to turn the company into a developer of A-grade games, and now we are back into making crap for the bargain bin, hoping into tricking 10 year olds into forking over their allowance for our excuse of games" See: Majesco
[b]"compelling AI that will trick your brain"[/b]
"CPU opponents will have a massively unfair advantage over your character, because the AI we coded is so damn weak that there is no chance in hell they would get close to beating you in a fair fight"
Most common in the racing genre, where opponents actually drive flying carpets (ex the cops of NFS:hot pursuit 2, or drivers in 4x4 Evo 2)
[b]"realistic simulation of Activity X" (usually includes piloting or driving, but can also be used for trains and ships)[/b]
"the controls will be so stiff you 'll end up crashing somewhere every time you attempt to drive the damn thing"
"we 've lost the bet to turn the company into a developer of A-grade games, and now we are back into making crap for the bargain bin, hoping into tricking 10 year olds into forking over their allowance for our excuse of games" See: Majesco
[b]"compelling AI that will trick your brain"[/b]
"CPU opponents will have a massively unfair advantage over your character, because the AI we coded is so damn weak that there is no chance in hell they would get close to beating you in a fair fight"
Most common in the racing genre, where opponents actually drive flying carpets (ex the cops of NFS:hot pursuit 2, or drivers in 4x4 Evo 2)
[b]"realistic simulation of Activity X" (usually includes piloting or driving, but can also be used for trains and ships)[/b]
"the controls will be so stiff you 'll end up crashing somewhere every time you attempt to drive the damn thing"
Spybreak8
- 8 months 2 days ago
Haha my fav and you guys sum it up nicely:
“!”
“We have used up our quota of the word "exciting" and have only exclamation marks left with which to try to hold your interest”
NOTE: It's a well-known games journalism fact that a newly announced game can be immediately and accurately reviewed by starting at a perfect 10 and subtracting the number of exclamation marks in the press release to arrive at a final score.
“!”
“We have used up our quota of the word "exciting" and have only exclamation marks left with which to try to hold your interest”
NOTE: It's a well-known games journalism fact that a newly announced game can be immediately and accurately reviewed by starting at a perfect 10 and subtracting the number of exclamation marks in the press release to arrive at a final score.
Picnic1
- 7 months 24 days ago
This was a recent one from Nintendo:
“…what you’re seeing is this average business model, the typical business model of, say, the five to six year generation of hardware is just not valid anymore. The Wii is a very approachable, accessible platform that’s going to interest gamers for years to come.”
Translation: At the moment we've made so much money from the Wii that we're using £50 bank notes as toilet paper. Spend money on creating new technology in a few years time? Are you mad? Half our new buyers are grannies who think that Teletext has good graphics. We should have spotted this years ago- the Gameboy's graphics were rubbish compared to the Game Gear but people didn't care. Now we're going to milk this cash cow until its udders are sore like we did with the Gameboy and Sony did with the PS1 and PS2.
“…what you’re seeing is this average business model, the typical business model of, say, the five to six year generation of hardware is just not valid anymore. The Wii is a very approachable, accessible platform that’s going to interest gamers for years to come.”
Translation: At the moment we've made so much money from the Wii that we're using £50 bank notes as toilet paper. Spend money on creating new technology in a few years time? Are you mad? Half our new buyers are grannies who think that Teletext has good graphics. We should have spotted this years ago- the Gameboy's graphics were rubbish compared to the Game Gear but people didn't care. Now we're going to milk this cash cow until its udders are sore like we did with the Gameboy and Sony did with the PS1 and PS2.
LieutenantCipher
- 4 months 26 days ago
"a bad stand-up comedian get progressively drunk out of desperation and piss himself on stage, before eventually starting to cry under the spotlight"
Have you been watching Family Guy GR? XD
Have you been watching Family Guy GR? XD
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